what momma writes

dear ana, happy almost 1 week! i started to question you being a boy again those last 3 weeks. your older sister kept insisting that baby brother was coming and he was in my belly. it made for an interesting last week and labor as i fully felt like even if you were going to be a girl, it'd be a surprise. i really didn't care what your parts were, i felt excited and nervous. on the night before you were born your sister knew you were coming. all afternoon and evening she kept saying to daddy and i "i need a hug" or "i want a hug mommy." she mentioned that evening that she "didn't want to see baby sister." daddy and i insisted she sensed something coming very soon. that night she wanted an extra long hug and made me hug her through canon in D on pandora (which i have to say has been a 'sign' to me all pregnancy). stella proceeded to have me sleep with Minnie, her lovey as well. between all of that and the amount of pressure on my

in a few short hours/days/weeks, you won't be my baby, but you'll always be my baby. i'm actually so excited to see you with a sibling and what a gift you'll be to this child! i love watching you hit milestone-esque things lately. i'm sure knowing i'll have a little newt here in no time (that pretty much is completely dependent on me) makes you seem even older, but i'm so proud of you. i've tried my best to give you lots and lots of pep talks about being a big sister, having a new baby around and of course letting you know that even when the baby comes out i still love you and we all love you even if we love another little person here too. you are nearing 3.5 and it's so fun to see you in "pre-school" and, shocker, beating to your own drum. i, at least, *think, you listen to your teacher haha! you love school though and talk about miss lenora all the time! you are making progress in your vision therapy, but ever since we got your new