what momma writes

it's been a long winter and as i write i hope i don't jinx the fact that spring is on it's way. this winter seemed extremely long to me and has taken the greatest toll on me, mentally. sunshine today and a play date with friends in the park does give me a glimmer of hope that spring really is coming... soon! here's a little bird picture update through the winter.  bird being her happy bird self. bed head and all, playing with her rosie red doll. i'm sorry, but i think she looks like momabirdski here. tired bird bopping her head to our favorite mumford and sons on the way home from a coffee shop. what's that? why, yes your eyes don't deceive you: it's pebbles twin! birdie gets a pony. on deck: another hair trim to figure all of that out... a large sign to moma she is growing up.   we haven't left the oral stage. i'm afraid we never will... winter brings lots of playing indoors unfortun

i'm still breastfeeding. go ahead judge me. i used to judge people who extended breastfeed. it may not be the judgement you are thinking though. it was never "eeeew you are gross." or "what moma would do that?" or "she's going to scar her child." pa-leeeease. spare me. it was nothing of the sort. my judgements were more along the lines of "doesn't she want her body back?"  -   not that it condones the fact that i placed judgement on someones decision that really had no bearing on my life or choices.  ha! little did i know i'd be here with a 16m old still nursing. it is another reminder that i don't know what it's like to walk in someone else's shoes. i never dreamed i'd be here still nursing, but truth is it is what it is and i've accepted it. while i'd be totally ok with bird breaking off, she's clearly not ready. and while i thought that nursing after a year would be annoying and i'd b

bird is 3 days shy of 16m old.  which means that if i were to be like the majority of people i know of i "should" be 4 weeks pregnant with our second bambino due roughly around the same time is numero uno. i'm happy to report i'm not... especially since i'm not feeling ready across the board; physically, mentally, emotionally and financially.  with that i'm interested to know what folks think about spacing.  how do/did you choose? or did fate choose for you? are you happy with your spacing? i'm well aware that there are different variables for different families. we know we want more than one kid and frankly, while i would welcome another baby if fate handed us that card, truth is i'm not ready. i see wee ones and while i oooh and ahhh with delight i'm also grateful that's not in my routine right now. sure, like most females, my ovaries ache a little at the thought of holding and snuggling a little guy, but mentally i don't think i

my heart melted.   we were so blessed with lovely weather the other day. (please come back soon. ...and stay). bird and i took a walk and played on the swings down the street. sometimes i get my phone out and show her the pictures of us just to see her smile at the "baby" in the reflection. we don't have a ton of photos of just the two of us so i wanted to see if i could capture a decent shot. we got this lovely smiling one with her fabulous under bite smile... then i thought it would be fun to see how she would "kiss the baby" in the phone. my little bird leaned in and smacked a kiss right on moma's cheek! gush. and then i saw my phone captured it and melted. *please excuse my "kissy face"

since bird was a little, wee thing i've taken her to the grocery with me.  she'd be all wrapped up in the mei tai wrap and would sleep next to moma. it was a win win. i would get an errand done and she'd get to nap for the 10th time that day on her moma and folks would give you those "oh, what a joy, sweet baby" new moma looks. then she grew up a little more and she'd ride in the ergo. another win win. moma still felt productive and could successfully multi task with babe and little bird would enjoy looking at my smiles, nursing if need be (carrier + a scarf = no one would ever know), and starting to have more of an awareness of the people and food items around her. one day she got bored in the ergo and wanted to move for the hour. fair enough. so i finally tried her in the cart seat. she always seemed so unbalanced, but since the buckles on those things come up to the ribs, she wasn't going anywhere. she was very pleased with her new position at the

i started a similar post quite some time ago and never followed up. after months of chatting and reading about new motherhood i felt the urge to finish it.  when i was pregnant i knew my baby was safe. i was doing all i could to protect this little being and i consider myself an all around healthy person. i looked forward to the day i would meet my child and then we would be this family and life would be right. right? ok, i'm not that naive and i don't think most mothers are. at all. my intent is not to ruin a parental experience or scare any parents to be either. my reason for writing and reflecting is to share my experience on that whole 'babymoon' thing-a-ma-jig and let folks know that it's not all roses . there are definitely roses- really, really beautiful rosey moments that make up for the what-am-i-doing-who-am-i-is-this-baby-okay kind of moments.  parenthood is, by far the hardest job out there. i mean, every hour of every day we pretty much do o