what momma writes

i reported to mWife today that i am in a bit of denial. it's 11/3/11 . although i still don't believe that i will go "on time" or early i still can't wrap my head around how we are here and where time slipped to. the more i actually say i am in denial out loud the more i become less in denial. it's like admitting to having a drug problem. the more i admit i have a drug problem,  i'm one step closer to recovery. ...ok, so it's not the greatest example, but you get the idea. we had our little check up today and all continues to be well. it was great to talk through the denial and little fears that surface: "what if i just don't go into labor?" "what if i don't ever fully dilate?" "what if a hand comes out first?" "what if, what if, what if?" it's odd i hadn't had any what if's for the longest time,  but then november hits and the wheels turn. rationally i know that most of these scenarios are...

we are busy with appointments all over the place. we had 2 this week. we have 2 this coming week. 2-3 the next and by george it will be 1-3 from there on out. ...unless you arrive, well early. ha. today we had 2 appointments. 1 in the eve and 1 in the morn. you were 145-150 bpm for both. steady lil thing aren't you?! in the morning we saw dr. W. he is so funny... told him i was at a doula dinner with him last year and he got on fb and we looked at LY's pics. ha! like who does that?! he complimented my tummy and inquired what i was doing for stretch marks. answer: lotion. not the bull shit $20+ lotions in a bottle the size of a peanut  that are supposed to rid them... that the annoying sales person from Motherhood Maternity tries to sell every time. like, she doesn't even have kids. sometimes i want to punch her in the face for being the most annoying, in your face, sales person ever and telling me i probably need more clothes. lady, listen - why would i buy more clothes...

more appointments bring more updates. and now we bring the chiropractor into the mix. what's one more? honestly i don't mind bc i know it's temporary.  i am lucky i have the flexibility to make my own schedule so it's not like i am losing hours with you. today we saw dr heather, the chiropractor. she was very thorough and i enjoyed listening  to her inform me of how the machines work, what she is doing and why she is doing what she is doing. it eased my uneasiness with the chiropractor process. the thought of "getting adjusted" always weirded me out. but, oops i liked it. dr heather found some spots in my neck, lower back and sacrum  that had small red flags. it was actually pretty relaxing. she didn't find any flags with my pelvis or round ligaments around the uterus  so that is good. we will be going back from time to time until you arrive. i'm supposed to continue yoga and pelvic rocks. done and done. dr heather informed me that my right side (...

can you believe we are in our early 30's together little one? ha. well, uh, i can't. we've got some updates on you, but we aren't getting all crazy as these aren't too different from the last time. measuring 32 cm again. (i know, odd since you were about 32.5 cm last time) we believe since you changed positions again that affected the measurements and i am seeing m.wife every other week now so you may not have grown as much in 2 weeks than you normally do in about 4. so there. you move all the flippin time so who knows how you will end up. right now - ROT  - otherwise known as Right Occiput Transverse. we have plenty of time to get you in a more optimal position. this one isn't fabulous or horrible since you still are cooking but this lovely little position you are currently hanging in can lead to long and more painful labor. do you reaaaaaaaally want that now? didn't think so. pelvic tilts, standing and swaying and lunging are supposed to ease you into a...

ok little egg, we graduated from birth class which i thoroughly enjoyed. got some tips on how the heck to push you out and how the heck to feed you if we have issues. don't worry, we will work it out. there are so many other things to figure out -  choices on interventions and mustering up a easy read birth plan. lots to think about and organize  (for the sanity of my brain at least)... it's also going to be like appointment central these next few months. i'll be seeing the doc once this month and midwife 2x  then the end of next month we jump to weekly with our midW  and increase some visits with dr b as well. i might as well live at the gas station since we will be driving all around town. visit today went well. got some insight on some interventions got an A on my pee stick. got an A on my blood pressure. got an A on my glucose test . you are once again 144 bpm and we got to use the fetoscope. very subtle tones for me still, but i could hear it. you are measur...

yep. it's glucose testing time! woo woo! a week or so ago i was busy playing diabetic. is it wrong that once i got the hang of pricking my finger that i enjoyed it?! i also liked seeing how food affected my blood sugar. i also confess to being a loser for enjoying these things. judge away. why a finger prick you ask? well... it's more accurate. duh. the glucola drink test has the potential to have some nasty side effects along with having to fast first (which i am not good at...) and it also doesn't really give a large amount of info  as to how a body regulates blood sugar day-to-day with one's normal diet. i could go on, but i wont. so pricking away we went.  3x a day for 3 days. and it took no time at all. i'm pretty sure i passed as i didn't hit any "dangerous" numbers, but i won't get it looked at until another 2 weeks and 4 weeks with dr. b-money. step I. write down all foods and times.  (dont worry - the sheet tells you when to test)....

that is what i picture you saying when we prod on you for a heart beat. you certainly don't like to be messed with. although i do hope you snuggle with me. but, if you like to be independent than so be it. sora checked you out today and we are measuring 27.5 cm  right on par. (so my last 29 cm reading i must have mis-read a number b/c  i KNOW  you aren't decreasing in size.  this i know.) forgive me. it took a while to get your heartbeat little stubborn soul. we tried the fetoscope and well, your position wasn't making listening easy. then even with the doppler, handheld you would squirm away telling us to mind our bizz. sora got easy, quick reads from your cord beat, but we both wanted to hear your heart. can you blame us? we are going to be checking your rhythm every other week now so hopefully you  cooperate a little better and we can just do it quick and not bother you too long. you are right about 144 bpm.   i asked sora about your rate decreasing ...