what momma writes

i'm a sucker for old clothes. within reason of course. i don't need stains. i don't need tears. i don't need hideous. but there is something special about getting the most out of clothes. not sure if it makes it feel vintage or what, but uh, i love, love, love when stella wears my old guys. here is proof that i have reason to question whether she is my child... (and yes, we both look a little like boys here) but i do love that some of my old romper outfits are still going strong.

image via i go to yoga every week, but some classes i am in tune more than others. last class i had what i like to call a yogic moment.  our instructor changed up the pace for the class. it was set up like a free flow class.  she gave us the basic flow with sun salutations and told us to add whatever we felt inclined to do. she pumped up the music and the goal was to let the holy spirit in... i'm not the overly religious type, but i think we succeeded. there was a song that said "what does love look like" and in front of my mat is my sleeping baby sweetly snoring through the pumped up music. it was pretty perfect to listen to the lyrics  and look her while surrounding myself with  such wonderful women sharing all our energy. this flow was very freeing. we talked about letting things in,  but i was also trying to let things out- and let them go... it's a start anyway. thank you yoga & yogies. there are many interpretations for namaste, but my favori

cousins. sarah and stella. sarah is a touch over 3 weeks older  and they are neck and neck with about everything. we finally had the girls well enough to lay them by each other to see what they would do. the two of them were so funny. just being babes. sarah would stare down stella and check her out. poor stella was so tired, but they both kicked their legs and squealed about. it's so fun to see babes side by side. it's going to be interesting to see them grow up neck & neck.

in honor of V-WEEK (falls near valentine's day)  i'd like to post my own monologued letter to my vagina  due to my birth experience. some of you know that i was in the vagina monologues senior year of college.  i performed the monologue 'reclaiming cunt' i did a gospel style song of the monologue reclaiming the word cunt-  making it stand for something positive.  the whole experience was truly empowering. for all of you that haven't seen the show, just see it. dear vagina, this may come as a shock to you, but i'm still a little mad at you. i thought writing stella's birth story would help me get out my anger-  and don't get me wrong. it did.  but it was my therapeutic band aid. some of that anger stuck around and lingered. i was thinking about the birth last week while i was in the shower  (i tend to do most my thinking there or before bed, quite annoying actually...)  and i realized that every time i think about the faulty performance

when i was little i never questioned one thing- whether i would be a good moma or not. (i did question whether or not i would have the privilege to be one,  but i always knew i would be a good one) i never thought about the juggles of being a working moma though. while it will be nice to have adult time of my own  and something to energize my focus, i will still miss being with my little. some of my favorite parts of the day are in the morning with this little gal. her big old-man-faced stretch and just simply watching her saw logs- the morning time together is a favorite part of my day. wait for it, i will miss breastfeeding. there i said it. it's become pretty special (and easy).  i think it's also going to be hard to know  i'm not the primary "teacher" every day, but we are so very blessed to have our family taking care of of our dear  and i know they have a vested interest in her best interest. and i can't say i didn't luck out with this new gig

it's surely been a while since i posted one of these little ditties. let's be honest, pregnancy and birth took precendence. (clockwise) small edibles.  yum. and so good. these are from the bonbonerie . if you haven't gone. go. massages.  ok best when you get someone else to do them, but let's be honest they can be pricey. if you are alone and have  stabbing pain or pressure this little guy does the trick. hand made goods. these lovelies were made by my ever so talented friend, lindsey. we worked together in nyc and she does the jewels on the side. she made these for my wedding day and i adore them. small plumbers. i'm sorry but how cute is it when little people have the cracks of their derriere hanging out or BETTER yet, little people wedgies.  so funny.

as maternity leave comes to a close i've been savoring my time with moments like these.

i get it. that love of a parent that people always try to describe  and they say when you have one you'll get it well, i get it. i look at my darling little stella and to me she is perfect. her grandpa hairline, even her booger nose, cod-fished mouth sleeping  it's just perfect. even when she is swaddled in my arms as i rock her to nap  and she may make an unpleasant sound i still look down and i'm overwhelmed with this love.  it's so strong that i sometimes just want to kiss her face off. she probably is annoyed about how i kiss her face so often,  but she has a tentative soon-to-be laugh when i do it so far. (not sure how long it will last). it's that love where you will do anything in order to protect this little being, you hurt when they suffer the smallest of pain, and want them to learn all the fullness of life. no joke it's the hardest job in the world, but by far the most rewarding things i've done to date. ... and my little monkey ca

ok stella, you know what is awesome? the fact that right before i am writing this you babbled yourself to sleep. just as i wrote about how you fight sleep, leave it to you to try something new. and.i.dont.mind.it. today you had your 2 month check up. it's more like 10 weeks, but hey so we are a little behind... you got your first shot today and i have to admit you shocked me. i was prepared for screams and furrowed brows and a tomato colored face. you took the oral vac fine, but were a little confused  and the stick in the thigh you gave a pouty lipped frown and a little yelp, but it was quick and you seemed ok. you took it like a champ. maybe it's because you have so much extra chunk that you didn't need to wince?! you happened to be extremely tired because i made the appointment  before you decided your nap schedule. yep. this check up was pretty much the time you sleep. i'm not sure if the vac's made you sleepy, but you slept in your car se

mister john's another year older. now closer to 40 than 30, my old buck! he's so lucky the superbowl lands on his day of birth this year. pretty sure it's an enjoyable way for him to celebrate. what can i say? i love my sweet. hbd mister. photo via thanks for all you do  i think we are a pretty good match. oh yea, thanks for this little monkey too. <3 your mrs.