what momma writes

as maternity leave comes to a close i've been savoring my time with moments like these.

... all 3 of them! pockets came over to play. she is a little tentative with stella, but at the same time loves her. she hasn't quite figured out what to do when people hold or give stella attention. she becomes a little sullen even though the first thing she says upon seeing us is: "baby slellahhh!!" with excitement. below are some pictures of my 3 babies & me. pockets still managed to find a way to curl up on my lap with 2 other babies on board. we pretended it was "night night" time. it was nearing pockets nap time so the little noggin was probably tired. i'm excited to see how pockets and stella will interact one day. sharing some attention is good practice for pockets new little brother or sister coming in july :)

no - we are not having twins  (although they run on john's side...) BUT i'll have you know i started this draft back in april,  but took me a minute to get it together gathering pics. and by a minute i mean i also forgot about it. and then i found it and other posts took precendence. i lose. BUT it was still fun to look back on all these shots and memories  so i am posting anyway. i know bloggie rules say don't post things late,  but i am breaking the rules. whatever. better with 2 means preggie friend who is less than 2 weeks apart EDD! duh, it's my photographer we've done a lot of fun, random, meaningful things together like: dressing up. sewing pj pants. doing service projects. mission trips. doing art projects. putting on pageants in art class. playing soccer. pumpkin carvers. birth junkie talk. and now weekly yoga. and now we are going to have littlans about the same age. mini mel and mini brenda's running around er, a mini turt...

just going to chalk up another reason  why mister john is a winner. i ordered tickets to wicked as my birthday present for us. i've seen it a gazillion times, mister john = zero. so no need for a gift. i want my gift to be him seeing it since it's quite the staple show. mister john went ahead and got me a little something and it made me chuckle. share-worthy. 2 items. one large. one small. he saw this shirt and thought of me. all about females being strong peeps in the world  so of course i embraced it. he was thoughtful enough to get a smaller size for post pregs. nice work. maybe i'll push the baby out in this shirt -  who's stopping me?! a nice, constant reminder that i can do it.

i am certainly not to the point of "omg get this baby out of me" or  "this baby needs to come out now" or "im so done with being pregnant" or  "im so uncomfortable i cant be pregnant anymore" the reality is that holy cow- in a few short weeks (or less?) i will be a moma and mister john, a dad. i already consider us parents as the baby is quite viable, but  like a baby in our arms, opening eyes, hopefully 10 fingers and toes (although if you come out missing a pinky i won't love you any less) it's just so surreal to me. when did 9 months pass? or 8 rather, when we found out. but october just breezed by like there was no tomorrow  and november, although not breezing quite as much is STILL breezy enough. i've never felt so ready for something and yet, not ready at all. via what do you mean you will be all ours? forever? and will spend every night with you? and i will have to get to know your feeding cues? and cries and gurgles? i...

i feel the need to post again. i know most people follow mel's blog already or at least do now,  but like mel, this is therapeutic for me too. ali's funeral was on wednesday. it was such a site to see the flood of pink. i think it was impossible to not feel her energy. and tho it was the saddest funeral i can remember attending  it was the most uplifting at the same token. it was a good thing there was a group of singers as i think we all took turns crying through songs. i almost delegated the Ave Maria, but was able to get through it by not looking at her family (or anyone for that matter)  as i knew i would lose it. it was, by far the hardest time singing it. check out mel's latest post and see the sea of pink. my mom and i were talking about how perfect the funeral was... ... that doesn't sound right, but it was such a perfect celebration of her life. and tho ali didn't plan it, it seemed to have ali written all over. everything perfectly planned and bright a...

i had a few prayer train posts for ali .  and i wanted to thank you all for your prayers. ali passed away on thursday 11/3/11.  although she is surely in a better place from all her suffering, please continue to pray for this family as they grieve the loss of someone so special. her sister, mel, (who i refer to as "my photographer" on here)  was courageous enough  to share a letter  to her sister not even 24 hours after she drifted to the heavens. it's truly a beautiful testament of who ali is. you may want to grab tissues. i cannot wrap my head around all this, and how it came to be or why,  but i am calmed to know that ali isn't suffering anymore. i've felt guilt of having such a joyous time in our lives coming so soon, while i know a dear friend is grieving the loss of her sister  and the family is hurting so. it.is.not.fair. and i know life isn't. i'd be lying if i said i didn't feel wrong to be excited for our little when this makes me s...

twenty-nine. a birthday breakfast from mister john. i don't feel old. but i can't believe i am 29. i am very much ok with it,  but it seems like time is going by so quickly. i felt happy and amazed this morning. i lay in bed the sun shining.  a fall day.  my sweet next to me. my baby moving in my hand. never does time cease to amaze me. it certainly goes fast  and it is crazy to look back on  how i came to this spot in time. i have a feeling this 29th year  is going to go by faster than ever before but i am choosing to savor it. by staying focused. staying motivated.  staying in moments that matter. happy 29th year to me.

yes, it's true. not for drugs. not alcohol. not sex and rock and roll... but to sports talk radio, nfl network and well, sports blogs. sometimes i think i need to join the alanon for  "sports talk addicts anonymous" The TV or radio are on almost 24/7.  ok the almost is because they aren't on when i am home  (unless i watch or listen to the game on my own accord... which, yes, it has happened). when entering our abode it's almost inevitable that one will be just a button click away from the drone of Lance, Mo or Boomer  (who really, really needs to lay off those cigars). the TV stays where it is and THANKFULLY we just have 1. With DVR nothing can be important enough to have to watch simultaneously. nothing. And I refuse to add one to the bedroom as a) i see it as a place of slumber  and b) i'll be signed up for resentment. Mister John will probably drift off to slumber (ok... well honestly it will be me first),  but as he peacefully sleeps i'll wake up ...