what momma writes

can someone please explain to me how i can feel more tired when i am home with my little tot all day (or weekend or whatever) than at a normal day at work? i find it truly baffling.  i admit, i live for the full days i am with her, but find myself needing a nap at her naptime (when i am supposed to be racing against the clock getting everything else done right?!) or daydreaming of coffee or planning what coffeeshop we attend pre or post naptime. i also admit, i have a little mom guilt about this. should redirecting and playing with a toddler make me this tired? is it because i only have one to focus my attention and i refuse to have the TV play 'babysitter' ??  OR perhaps this mobile, curious little person is just tiring for that reason. i don't mean to use the word tiring in an negative way either. i love that my gal is mobile, curious, and adventuresome, but i think it's these things that wear me out. i work out of the house 4 days a week and there are plenty

tonight i sang at a lovely wedding. a friend of mine got married and it's always nice to be around such positive, loving energy whether i know the couple or not. per usual i'm typically starving after singing as i don't like to eat right before singing (old nervous habit i suppose, even though i rarely have nerves for weddings anymore...). post wedding, i whipped into the lot of my old sandwich joint and already knew my order. upon entering the building, i was approached by a man in his 60's asking for money for his laundry detergent and some other items. "excuse me, mam. you don't have to be afraid of me, i just need a minute" he said as i pulled off my sunglasses, clad in my high heels and black dress. he proceeded to tell me why he needed a few dollars for this and that. it sounded lame and i didn't buy it. the honest answer i gave him was i didn't have cash on me.  a few seconds passed and as i opened the door some words tumbled out o

in the dark of your room you didn't want me to put you down. your cry wailed and your arms reached up saying "moma, pick me up." so i did. in the dark of your room i held you. rocking you back and forth, stroking you hair and patting your back. then you calmed. in the dark of your room i laid next to you. your forehead touching my cheek, and your congested little breaths tickling my nose. and you slept. in the dark of your room i was present. it was just you in my arms and the fan wafting air over us. i could see our silhouette through the light of the sheer curtains. in the dark of your room moma and daughter embracing. simple. serene. silent. sleeping babe. beautiful.

every monday i come into work and  our small staff gathers for a few to have our own weekend update  (not as good as seth meyers of course). it's very common for me to find myself brainstorming "what in the world did i do this weekend?" while i always feel like our weekends are full, and i'm simultaneously making less set commitments, i can't remember anything that's share worthy of 'what i did this weekend' ... and perhaps it's because what we do now is usually drama-free and in-home togetherness (i know, puke. sorry i couldn't think of the right word). and it got me thinking, how did i manage to fill every ounce of time before bird even entered our lives. while i'm sure it wasn't all meaningless errands, it's still mind boggling to me that i was so busy when i didn't have a toddler to chase.  our time is spent working as a team to manage a home and care for this little gal. it's really forced us into cultivating

this post is a little late since we had two easter celebratory weekends this year and some spring time fun as well. it's been fun to take advantage of the easter festivities in the city with family along with running barefoot in the yard, playing with cousins, and exploring parks and swings.  fun at the park with grands! we are so lucky to have such great parks in cincinnati and our new favorite is in Over the Rhine. it's newly renovated the past year or so and has such great energy and activities. mamawm, pawpaw, birdie and i had brunch at a favorite coffee spot downtown after the egg hunt that didn't happen for us. lil gal was enjoying hamming it up with the spoon and making friends with folks. ummmmm, so we went down to OTR for an egg hunt and i neglected to look and see that the age brackets started at age 3, so uh, we hung out with the massive amounts of people in the park and the EB happened to be there. i'm not the type that will stand in line for