what momma writes

dear collection of thongs, this is a little over due. i'm sorry to report that we won't be seeing each other any time soon, or ever for that matter. you were there for me in all those tight pants, skinny jeans and of course numerous dresses i wore daily especially in new york.  you saved my ass (literally) of my underwear line being spotted. i appreciate all the times we had. i was able to befriend so many of you due to my part time employment at victoria's secret, which quickly led to my addiction to buying matching panties  (yes i did just type panties) and bras that, at the time, i thought were "oh so sexy." but, old friend, times have changed and well, i apologize, but you and all your friends have been replaced.  your services are no longer needed or appreciated thanks to pregnancy and after birth's gift of hemorrhoid flare ups, one of the things no one tells you as a mama . i have new priorities now: like first and foremost: not subjecting my ass t...

i have a guest post coming about lessons learned in a baby's first year and i started tracking what i was learning because every day seemed like a new lesson. i'm certain this will grow. i have learned: 1. how much more laundry a little makes (not including cloth diapers).  our water bill coming must be astronomical. 2. it's not easy to be the same wife you once were while tending to a little.  our love may be stronger, but it takes more effort. 3. projectile vomiting is common among ferocious eating newborns. 4. large breasts are completely overrated. 5. how much you will melt looking at your husband with his daughter. 6. i'm not sure i can fathom someone else taking care of my child even if it's family. 7. that cheering over and congratulating large burps is a common occurrence. 8. that my driving has tremendously improved (and everyone else has become worse). 9. how fast the days go by because  a) we nap b) there is always something (everything) that ne...

i thought i'd have all the time in the world to post these answers before her birth. nope. below are the fun facts about john and i when younger. (in no particular order) i posted these a while ago and here, FINALLY, are the answers. hope you did well. smile . 1. After a fight with my sister I decided it would be nice to rip off the head of her favorite barbie doll. caren 2. Empty yogurt cups (cleaned out of course) were my favorite blocks. caren 3. Growing up our "night games" were kick the can and cops and robbers. caren 4. As a baby loved to play with all the pots and pans in the kitchen. john 5. A favorite saying around age 7: "I am going to try not to get married." caren 6. Voted best smile as my superlative in high school. john 7. In middle school my morning routine before school involved my dad pretending it was cafeteria style for my sister and me. john 8. One of my many jobs: delivery of the weekly press. caren 9. Before I had teeth, my dad...

this game was actually planned to be at our couple's shower. but people seemed pleased to be mingling and sipping wine so we didn't end up using it. below are some fun facts about john and i when younger. (in no particular order) **sorry parents and some relatives, but you probably should be excluded since you may remember some of these.** i'll post the answers in a few days! good luck! ... 1. After a fight with my sister I decided it would be nice to rip off the head of her favorite barbie doll. 2. Empty yogurt cups (cleaned out of course) were my favorite blocks. 3. Growing up our "night games" were kick the can and cops and robbers. 4. As a baby loved to play with all the pots and pans in the kitchen. 5. A favorite saying around age 7: "I am going try to not get married." 6. Voted best smile as my superlative in high school. 7. In middle school my morning routine before school involved my dad pretending it was cafet...

just going to chalk up another reason  why mister john is a winner. i ordered tickets to wicked as my birthday present for us. i've seen it a gazillion times, mister john = zero. so no need for a gift. i want my gift to be him seeing it since it's quite the staple show. mister john went ahead and got me a little something and it made me chuckle. share-worthy. 2 items. one large. one small. he saw this shirt and thought of me. all about females being strong peeps in the world  so of course i embraced it. he was thoughtful enough to get a smaller size for post pregs. nice work. maybe i'll push the baby out in this shirt -  who's stopping me?! a nice, constant reminder that i can do it.

MORE PROGRESS! yesssssssssssssss and you should be proud... i haven't really added anything.  (at least baby wise). Register - 8/1/11 (7/24/11) Sign up for Birthing Class - 8/5/11 (7/29/11) Re-Organize Budget - 8/5/11 (although we probably will be doing this again come November) Hire Doula - 8/30/11 (7/29/11) Finalize Maternity Leave Crap - 9/9/11 (getting there....) (HR says I'm good...) Re-organize clothes and closets - 9/10/11 (7/30/11???)   Build Closet and Baby Room Shelving - 9/15/11 (compliments of Vince... he is getting a little extension...) ( 10/5/10) Stellar JOB ... see post. Order Wedding Photo Prints for Album - 9/17/11 Wedding Prints to Frame Firm Up Child.care 9/30/11 (8/30/11) White Board/Dry Erase/Dinner Board - 10/15/11 Blog Make-Over - 10/20/11(1/2 way 8/5/11) Legally Change Name - 10/23/11 (10/10/11) (if things go well, 10/10/11 i shall be official! first and last name) Complete a Birth Binder - 11/1/11 (started) Read Breastfeeding Book(s)- 11/5/11...

i've said it before, things are smooth. but that is not to say being pregnant isn't hard work. here are some of my assistants. the snoogle was a little confused and unsure about this one the first few days,  but if you only knew how much of a godsend this little guy is... makes sleeping and hip pain so much nicer. ergonomic chair again... what is with me and the hips. this sucker is better ergonomically (is that a word?), and really helps my hips from feeling sore from sitting all day. meh. and it's fun to bounce around on occasion too. pelvic rocks great for getting baby in a more optimal position  but we aren't really to that point. also great to stretch (you guessed it) my hips! and obviously good for the pelvis. sometimes at nite i'll do a few just bc they game changers when i feel  all stiff or sore. johns hands not sure what life would be like without these. mister john gives superb back rubs. i was spoiled pre pregnancy and now e...

yes, it's true. not for drugs. not alcohol. not sex and rock and roll... but to sports talk radio, nfl network and well, sports blogs. sometimes i think i need to join the alanon for  "sports talk addicts anonymous" The TV or radio are on almost 24/7.  ok the almost is because they aren't on when i am home  (unless i watch or listen to the game on my own accord... which, yes, it has happened). when entering our abode it's almost inevitable that one will be just a button click away from the drone of Lance, Mo or Boomer  (who really, really needs to lay off those cigars). the TV stays where it is and THANKFULLY we just have 1. With DVR nothing can be important enough to have to watch simultaneously. nothing. And I refuse to add one to the bedroom as a) i see it as a place of slumber  and b) i'll be signed up for resentment. Mister John will probably drift off to slumber (ok... well honestly it will be me first),  but as he peacefully sleeps i'll wake up ...

my first court hearing. and i did have to swear to tell the whole truth so help me god. and i did have to raise my right hand. bye bye Karen  and helllooooo Caren. i opted to get a new last name while i was at it too. that's it. love, the new and improved, legal me.

having a belly. it's not all bad. today i layed on the couch. dabbled on my laptop. and ate an apple. (in honor of steve jobs of course) it was nice having a built in shelf for my plate. *also handy for reading books. you're welcome.

for those of you who guessed llama. guess again. apparently baby llama was born on 9/17 @ 3pm. i guess we will be having a girl or boy afterall.

ok so some definite progress, but i think i need to give myself some extensions. and of course there are some darn extensions to this list. Register - 8/1/11 (7/24/11) Sign up for Birthing Class - 8/5/11 (7/29/11) Re-Organize Budget - 8/5/11 (although we probably will be doing this again come November) Hire Doula - 8/30/11 (7/29/11) Finalize Maternity Leave Crap - 9/9/11 (getting there....) Re-organize clothes and closets - 9/10/11 (7/30/11???)   Build Closet and Baby Room Shelving - 9/15/11 (compliments of Vince... he is getting a little extension...) Order Wedding Photo Prints for Album - 9/17/11 Wedding Prints to Frame Firm Up Child.care 9/30/11 (8/30/11) White Board/Dry Erase/Dinner Board - 10/15/11 Blog Make-Over - 10/20/11(1/2 way 8/5/11) Legally Change Name - 10/23/11  (if things go well, 10/10/11 i shall be official! first and last name) Complete a Birth Binder - 11/1/11 (started) Read Breastfeeding Book(s)- 11/5/11 laundry list extensions: gather baby room i...