what momma writes

darling birdie, here's your "monthly" update on months 13 and 14.  you are turning into quite the toddler. there seems to be smaller amounts of baby in you every day. one day you woke up from a nap and dada and i both said "did she age during her nap?" you looked so much older all the sudden. which, physically speaking, you have a lot of hair, a lot of teeth and you walk around so that helps you "seem" older even though developmentally you are on par with whatever the norm is i'd think. you started walking right around 12 1/2 months old and just took off.  you walk in circles in our house and hold different options, inspecting new and re-discovering old items. what's funny is sometimes when you fall down you just stay there looking up for a while. melanie's nico did this and you started as well (and you've never seen him do it).  You haven't done any major climbing except the stairs, but you attempt to scale the baby

i'll admit it's hard. but, i'm trying. i'm one who's always been somewhat of a "searcher" -  it's actually a little irksome, but it's who i am. trying to find that balance (in everything) trying to find what i am supposed to do in life trying to find out what's next i often just want to "be" there's something calming about just being. not to worry about what is next and what i am supposed to do. why is it so hard to be in the present and be ok with being in the present? for as long as i can remember people said "follow your heart" and well, that is hard. your heart doesn't talk. your heart doesn't spell out answers. but, heck, i'm trying to follow my heart. and listen. and be. in our ADD + distraction filled + consumerist + materialistic society it's hard to be. and it's really hard NOT to want. everything.  the next best thing is already tugging at you before we have a chance t

i don't always do resolutions. i don't like to be forced into doing something new for the sake of doing it. this year i have some goals and i am excited about the challenge. if you know me at all, you know i am competitive, even with myself.   i know i could start these at any time, but with a new year comes a natural want to start "fresh" or refreshed. or both. i want to be held somewhat accountable for these so i may check in from time to time to document my progress or set backs.   end frivolous spending. i am generally very good with my/our money. we do okay and make ends meet, but i want to challenge myself (ourselves) and commit to not buying wants that we think are needs. there are always exceptions, but they have to be legitimately qualified. ie: my running shoes have no traction and are over the normal mileage. while this need isn't life or death, i like to keep my feet healthy being a 4-5x a week jogger. to start i am going to try