a letter to the sweetest nugget of all.

my dear little nugget,

you are growing growing growing.

well, i hope you are as i feel like i am.

you are also moving so much. i just love it.

your heart rate is a consistent 145 bpm again.

and you are head down. you go kid! stay there.

i also think your head is just left of my bellie button.

it seems to look a little bigger there and sometimes i think 

you are head-balling me there. 

or punching? hmmmmmmmm.

that's the latest and the greatest.

dr B said you are excite-able ha!

not sure what it means, but it sounded fun.

we finally nailed down your "due" date.

again, not that i choose to advertise it and not that i think you will arrive on 

or

bank on you coming even the norm of near it, but it's nice, after 20-something weeks,

to agree on the stupid old date.

daddy and i are getting more and more excited.

the more you grow and move the more real it gets.

auntie jess and kate were able to see your progress and gave you a few love pats.

funny to see how people react to your size. 

you are right on target according to sora and dr. b.

dr b. said i looked great again at the visit.

not sure if he says that to everyone, BUT

i will add it sure makes a preggo lady feel good.

i still am so not sure whether you are boy or girl.

sometimes i think i am "supposed" to have a boy.

we all get what we are supposed to have, but sometimes i think that 

because i have such strong convictions about women's equality and strong girls that maybe 

i'm supposed to have a boy to teach me the other side of things.

not sure.

but i still could have a boy to teach me that later.

other times i think you are a girl.
i see how daddy is with his nieces and i can see him with a little gal of his own.

i imagine our top girl name and sometimes it just feels right to imagine myself saying

"is ______ ok" or "this is ______"

BUT

that also could be bc we haven't honed in on a boy name Quite yet.

when i think about the way you may look

i imagine a boy looking like me and a girl looking like daddy.

i think A LOT of little girls favor daddies and A LOT of little boys favor mommas.

so it will be interesting to see if i'm right.

it's so weird to think of daddy and my genes all mixed up to come up with you.

i do love the suspense and i can't imagine knowing what you are right now.

it wouldn't feel right to have that revealed until we meet.

and although you have plenty more time to cook still 

we just can't wait.

but we will.

bc there is also so much i'd like to do before you arrive.

but i did make some head way on that Laundry List!

xox

momma bird.

ps this is how i look with you now.