a battle against the flu.

i work in a hospital setting.

we are required to receive the annual flu shot.

i sucked it up last year.

i didn't want to.

i never got flu shots before.

i am healthy - hear me roar.

luckily,

i was able to confirm that this year all shots are latex & thimerosal free

(no preservatives)

so that gave me some piece of mind.

i had an ounce of hope when the head of the flu shot campaign

was checking to see if i could receive the shot postpartum.

i'm "due" the end of november and the campaign ends 11/15/11.

work with me here people - it's not that far off

and i'm willing to be poked, prodded, injected with whatever you wish...

the day i was scheduled for my shot

i got an email stating:

"I spoke with Dr. *&^^%$$# and you are required to receive the flu shot."

that was it. 

no explanation.

no other option.

job VS shot

sounds simple.

but i will say i have an issue with being forced to do things with NO options.

it wasn't just about me this time.

i know that i am not in the the first trimester when it is most unsafe.

i know that the CDC states it's safe for preggos to get the flu shot.

i know that most women wouldn't think twice a out receiving the flu shot.

to that i give a middle finger to the CDC.

just because the CDC states something doesn't mean 

i should do it or agree with it.

i'm not exactly "type a"

or medical minded

or a go with the crowd kind of gal.

and

this is not to say i disagree with all medical work.

i work in a hospital for god's sake -

so yes, i can appreciate the need for medicine

and i work with some wonderful physicians.

that still didn't make me feel better and

i had a little break down.

the moment i read that email giving me no choice i bust into tears.

i'm sure there were some hormones tied up in this, 

but i was legit angry and scared.

how dare someone force me to make a decision that *might* affect my baby.

most folks will say it's good for the baby, but if something does come out 

"not right" with my baby, i, like every mother, will look back at decisions

and actions during pregnancy and wonder "what if" regardless.

so wouldn't it make more sense (at least for me...) to eliminate those scenarios?!

not sure what is more hyper-cautious-

getting the shot or not?

if god-forbid something happens genetically 

or nature taking it's course then so be it,

but forcing a decision upon me that doesn't just affect me, 

well, it doesn't sit well.

so i went to an empty office.

cried.

(an embarrassing amount) 

called mister john.

called my midwife.

heard what i needed to hear.

composed myself.

made myself look human again

and got the damn shot.

so nugget and i better not get the stinking flu.