a better place.

-

i had a few prayer train posts for ali.
 and
i wanted to thank you all for your prayers.

ali passed away on thursday 11/3/11. 
although she is surely in a better place from all her suffering,
please continue to pray for this family as they grieve the loss of someone so special.
her sister, mel, (who i refer to as "my photographer" on here) 
was courageous enough 
to share a letter to her sister
not even 24 hours after she drifted to the heavens.
it's truly a beautiful testament of who ali is.
you may want to grab tissues.

i cannot wrap my head around all this, and how it came to be or why, 
but i am calmed to know that ali isn't suffering anymore.

i've felt guilt of having such a joyous time in our lives coming so soon,
while i know a dear friend is grieving the loss of her sister 
and the family is hurting so.
it.is.not.fair.

and i know life isn't.


i'd be lying if i said i didn't feel wrong to be excited
for our little when this makes me so sad.
so odd to feel my baby move and my heart aching.

i don't know how melanie does it -
she has dealt with this roller coaster 
through her whole pregnancy with such grace.
and been a warrior and cheerleader for ali.
i know she would want me to be excited for our llama
just as i pray her turtle brings her much joy and renewal.

and we are excited, but it's a juxtaposition of emotions.
a friend told me that new life coming is a reminder that life goes on.

and it does.
and just as it does, we still won't forget.
ali reminds us to celebrate life,
every.singly.day.
and not give up.

i still have my ali alarm going.
7 pm every eve.
it seemed weird to turn it off...
and i figure what's so bad about a reminder for daily prayer.
only this time i lift up my prayers to ali to help heal her family
and be with those who are suffering.

feel free to stay on the prayer train with me.


...
i leave you with song lyrics my cousin shared.
Anytime, I am There:
Any time you laugh
Any time you cry
Any time you hear a sound
When you’re on the grass
Lying on the ground
Any time you wash your hands
I’ll be around

I’ll be there on the baseball field
Though I’m well concealed
I’ll be out there cheering
I’ll be there in the books you read
It is guaranteed
I’m not disappearing fast
Any time
No not any time

And I am there each morning
I am there each fall
I am present without warning
And I’m watching it all
Yes I’m watching it all
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
And I am there in music
I am there in sky
I don’t why this thing did happen
But this much is clear
Any time or anywhere
I am there

Any time you pray
Any time you fight
Any time you’ve gained a pound
Any time it’s day
Any time it’s night
Any time the earth moves
I’ll be around

I’ll be there in the maple trees
I’m a summer breeze
On a perfect evening
I’ll be there when you celebrate
When the world seems great
I’ll be waiting by your side
Any time
Yes! Any time

And I am there each morning
I am there each fall
I present without warning
And I’m watching it all
Yes I’m watching it all

And I am there in flowers
I am there in snow
I don’t know why this thing happened
But this much is clear
Any time you cry
Any time you sing
For anything
I’ll be there
Each morning
I’ll be there each fall
I don’t why this thing happened
But this much is clear

Be aware
I am there










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