so ready, but so not.

i am certainly not to the point of

"omg get this baby out of me"

or 

"this baby needs to come out now"

or

"im so done with being pregnant"

or 

"im so uncomfortable i cant be pregnant anymore"

the reality is that holy cow-

in a few short weeks (or less?)

i will be a moma

and mister john, a dad.

i already consider us parents as the baby is quite viable, but 

like a baby in our arms, opening eyes, hopefully 10 fingers and toes

(although if you come out missing a pinky i won't love you any less)

it's just so surreal to me.

when did 9 months pass?

or 8 rather, when we found out.

but october just breezed by like there was no tomorrow 

and november, although not breezing quite as much

is STILL breezy enough.

i've never felt so ready for something

and yet, not ready at all.

via

what do you mean you will be all ours?

forever?

and will spend every night with you?

and i will have to get to know your feeding cues?

and cries and gurgles?

i guess some people go through the motions and it is what it is

and i sit down and disect every feeling.

i don't mind it.

i'm just still in a little disbelief 

of the POSSIBILITY of having a baby any day now.

and, if not any day now,

then in just weeks...

we have your room 95% done.

i am happy with it.

i didn't need it to sit perfect for months - 

that would actually make waiting harder bc it'd be

nested all so early. i'd be done.

and then i'd have to sit and wait.

and we all know the waiting game for baby debut's is the hardest.

(why do you think 60% of beds are pre-filled daily? induction. 

i'll save that post as it's become the norm and not going to get so off topic-

but i am good at getting off topic, this i know).

our house is clean and in order.

we only need to buy a short list of items.

honestly i am ready for your arrival 

minus

work.

i made some progress today.

(although i would have made more 

if you wouldnt have partied on my bladder so much 

causing me to get up every little bit...)

so things are falling into place.

it's still funny to me that people think i could go any day.

although it's just weeks away

i just can't fathom you making an exit in the next week or so.


i talked to dr B and he said patience is our best teacher.
and i said that's what i am trying to practice.


i'm sure it could be harder to practice patience
once i pass that "due" date that everyone asks about.
just not sure how much.