"because i knew you, i have been changed for good"

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i feel the need to post again.
i know most people follow mel's blog already or at least do now, 
but like mel, this is therapeutic for me too.

ali's funeral was on wednesday.
it was such a site to see the flood of pink.
i think it was impossible to not feel her energy.
and tho it was the saddest funeral i can remember attending 
it was the most uplifting at the same token.

it was a good thing there was a group of singers
as i think we all took turns crying through songs.
i almost delegated the Ave Maria, but was able to get through it
by not looking at her family (or anyone for that matter) 
as i knew i would lose it.
it was, by far the hardest time singing it.

check out mel's latest post and see the sea of pink.
my mom and i were talking about how perfect the funeral was...
...
that doesn't sound right, but it was such a perfect celebration of her life.
and tho ali didn't plan it, it seemed to have ali written all over.
everything perfectly planned and bright and pink.

her mom and husband gave the eulogy.
denise gave peace to so many
- i hope she feels some peace at the same time.
denise talked about how she always told her girls to keep god as their #1.
that was apparent as we learned more about ali's life.

ben wrote the most beautiful letter to ali
and not only did he courageously get up and talk, but he shared
with everyone this heartbreaking, but lovely tribute for his wife.
(mel posted his letter to her on the blog. grab tissues).

denise started saying this past week has been ali's biggest mission trip yet.
oh, so true!
with all the sadness this brings and heavy hearts,
i walked away from her life celebration feeling empowered.
empowered 
to look again at my own life.
to remember to live my vows.
to not think twice about giving to others.
to keep god #1.
to enjoy pink.
to not let fear get in the way of love.


...my ali alarm just sounded...
thought you all should know.

melanie wrote this in her blog as well, 
and i noticed the exact same thing upon entering back to work-
the sun began to peek out after all the morning rain.
perhaps it's ali wishing us all peace.
sending us some sunshine that she is a.ok.

in the evening mister john and i went to see wicked.
the last song brought my day to full circle
lyrics of
"because i knew you, i have been changed for good"

how appropriate.



Comments

Mel said…
I.love.you
10/11/11
Bethany said…
I'm so sorry to hear this Caren! Sending you a big hug. I absolutely love Wicked and that's my favorite song... it makes me cry every time I hear it.
11/11/11
ma mom said…
When I heard Ali was sick, I cried. How could this be? And I prayed for healing. And I cried.
We shared our sorrow at the visitation, but it was a wonderful tribute to her. But at the Mass we celebrated Ali, and she was all around us and she always will be. We were all connected. I cried, but I felt healed. Thank you Denise and Ben for sharing and for Ali for being the wonderful you.
13/11/11
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