3.18.11

Well your daddy and I took the test and we weren’t sure of the answer. It gave us 1 thick red line and one quasi red line so I currently was thinking “ok, we are ½ pregnant and ½ not pregnant” and was also not convinced of the outcome if it was in fact reading negative. Your dad looked at the unopened test and saw that NO lines appeared it was blank slate and then he thought that it was actually positive. I saw such a smile on his face when talking about it being +. Very cute to see your dad so excited. I have to admit I was a little disappointed and confused when I saw the quasi negative b/c a. my temp has been up for 17 days, b. my heartburn is ridiculous not matter what I eat, even if cereal, c. I am having constipation a little and we Minniti’s, don’t really have that problem if you catch my drift, d. the woman I nanny for said to me just hours ago “I can’t wait until you get pregnant – you will be such a good mom” and a week prior my friend Jenn said “Caren is going to have the first MF baby” (that is what my college group of friends is called… you will soon learn). Coincidence? Maybe, but odd none the less that people just knew. …and e. after noticing my temp being high I looked at possible conception dates and realized that there was in fact 2 possibilities where you could have been created so honestly I wanted it to be + not only for the excitement after letting myself take it in, but also to explain my random symptoms and temp.

So with that, your dad was emphatic about going out and buying a “legit, easy read” test. I said just hurry back b/c I already have to pee again. He chose a version that digitally read either “pregnant” or “not pregnant.” A lot simpler. I peed. Wet the Stick Holder thing-a-ma-jig and 60 seconds later we were sure as shit confirmed to be with child. HA!

I had butterflies, but also was thinking how surreal this was. It happened so fast, but we are all really excited. So uh, now we have to decide when to actually tell people. The hard part. I don’t like keeping secrets, but not ready to announce being I am only what? 4-5 weeks along. Not that I have an inkling that something will happen, but just not ready to blurt it out.

I have this weird feeling about people passing judgement. And the thing is, it doesn’t matter b/c John and I mutually agreed that if we were to get pregnant we would be happy not stressed which – HA! As of now I don’t feel stress. Due to the fact that we have only been married 6 months it feels so quick, but on the same token, we have been together for 5 years and have a strong backbone and are a great team. I am sure people will be excited but I don’t know why I fear this odd judgement of why having a baby at 35 – your dad, and 29 –me (when you arrive) needs justification. I am hoping writing this down will help that subside and I believe it already has.

On another note – heart burn means shit about hair on the child…. It has to!! You are the size of a tadpole and have no hair so why would people say this heart burn is b/c you have hair. I don’t buy it.

…I wonder if I am allowed to take Zantac.