the not so sexy list.

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as i sit here and write this, i pretty much am chalking this up to a week of bad symptoms.

don't get me wrong
 i am excited and thrilled beyond belief about you, 
but i'd be lying if i said pregnancy was all sexy. 
if you know me, you know i suck at lying. 
you also know that i will call you out if i think you need to be called out on. 
not really into enabling...
soooo friends,
i am not going to sit here and tell myself that these things are all fun times all the time.

with that-
the not so sexy list:
1. starvation at 3-4a.m.
2. puking or naus at 3-4a.m.
3. having conversations with yourself at 4 a.m. that 1 kid has got to be enough - right?
4. peeing 2,000,444,546 a night.
5. eating ALL the effing time - i swear you are a hypoglycemic child. (i blame your dad).
6. daydreaming about a potty seat in your bedroom.
7. your "used to be" end of the day weight being your morning starting weight.

people brag about how you get to eat whatever you want and eat them all the time 
but
no. that is a lie. 
a) i cant with a good conscious feed my you sugar and crap
 nor do i want to get in the habit of a shitty diet.
b) most of the food that keeps me full is protein and i am about over that. 
c) i am simply tired of eating. it's lost it's fun, but i have to keep doing it.


the good news is - you are worth it.
everyone tells me that and i do, indeed believe them.
i look forward to the day when trimester II's sexiness comes out to say hi. 
i'm still waiting for the "friendly trimester"
 to come visit, but so far i'm not in the clear yet.
getting there, but not clear of the not so sexy list.

i also look forward to the day i can hold you in my arms after doing the most insanely difficult, but purely human thing and realize the not so sexy list is just a memory. 
and i'll realize how crazy i was for writing all this.

but - you can't say i wasn't honest with you from the start.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Just wait til u get to add saggy mom boobs to the list. If you are also not so lucky, stretch marks (damn boobs got too big!!) and cottage cheese thighs (and butt). I havent worn a thong in 2 yrs.
22/5/11
Caren said…
after talking to my gramma i don't think i'll be adding saggy boobs to the list (ever.... we genetically don't have that make up). BUT very much looking forward to adding to this lovely list of "mommy markers" - joy.
22/5/11
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