up downs + up dates.
coming off a high of doula training workshop.
(SEE POST COMING... someday...SORRY FOR THE TARDINESS)
and then finding a bit of loss.
ups and downs.
i hold my bellie a little tighter.
hearing of miscarriage is never easy
no matter how far along and to those you consider the untouchables.
a friend of mine said,
"it's one of those things that no one seems to think okay to bring up."
i was happy to have a doctor appointment the day after hearing of such news.
a little update on you, little one.
this week (well, last week, im late) you have a roughly 140 heartbeat
bowen said "you look great" when he walked in the door,
which makes me feel good of course.
he is so very thorough even when i don't have
anything to be concerned about.
you are all on target.
i have gained more than the "normal," (according to babycenter, not bowen)
but i don't feel huge or too big
and to some degree could still hide being pregnant
by what i wear or if you didn't know my figure beforehand.
BUT
you must have had a growth spurt as i know i did pop more.
i feel bigger and apparently look bigger. again, def not big,
BUT
people are starting to notice- even pockets.
she pointed to you in my bellie and said "ball" and wanted to touch you.
lea and i had her saying baby and tried cousin.
AND
i attempted to put on my old jean capris to see if i could pull the old rubber band trick and well,
yea, that didn't work so well.
it was pretty much like
"oh, ha, i surely can't think about zipping these and keeping them intact"
so i got a couple jeans from sis' maternity clothes and they fit quite nicely.
i have to admit, i can get used to these soft waist bands.
- - -
midwife appointment this month also went well...
heartbeat somewhere in the 150s
and measuring just right. again - nice work.
theme from the appointment is:
nutrition and blood volume expansion.
we are grateful you are healthy and
looking forward to the next steps to meeting you.
sorry for the loss, but i guess some things just happen,
even the painful ones.
taking things day by day.
breath by breath.
and one day (or days) ...
contraction by contraction
Comments
I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of the pregnancy for whomever it was. I know what it's like to be in their shoes. And I know what it's like to be in your shoes - pregnant and hearing about a miscarriage. I before getting pregnant, you know that a baby is a blessing, but only after you truly are pregnant do you realize that life is a miracle.
Oh - and for the weight gain. I remember my midwife laughing when I told her that "What to Expect" and my previous doctor told me that I should only gain 20-25 lbs. She said, "Oh you'll blow right by that, and you should, and it's fine."
And I did! I gained 45 lbs - and I know one woman who gained 70 - but it was still a healthy weight gain for her - it was just what her body needed. She lost it all very quickly afterward.
You keep doing what you're doing - eating healthy, positive attitude. I'm so proud of you and everything you're doing with this pregnancy! Yay mama Caren (and papa John ... haaaaaaaa papa john!)