over and over again, this theme rolls onward in my life right now. i feel aligned, mostly positive, gracious and overall pretty happy. there's been multiple times i wanted to sit and write this piece, but then there's this part of me that says "but what if things didn't work out as you said?" "what if you go broke?" "people will think you are tooting your own horn..." but, honestly why do i care? this is me and if people get something from it, great. if not, also, great. same reason for me not going to use capital letters here... because i don't feel like it. like it or don't. negative self talk is so self deprecating. we wouldn't let someone talk to us like that, but we let ourselves talk us out of EVERYTHING! this is a little tale and peek into our life. over a year ago john left his comfortable job with good benefits (no, really the best benefits there are, kind of benefits). he could do this job with his eyes closed,...
One year. There's still a side that does not want to give the past year my time, but truth is it does indeed warrant the reflection. It flew us into chaos and back, upside down and completely steady again. And it continues to do so. It was Thursday the 12th (2020). Everyone was acting quickly, chaotically and given the immensity of the circumstances, I believe irrationally. In the digitized age we live, it's easy to breathe the hype and addiction to the flooding of information and if your inner core is in fact feeling unsafe, judgement, or fear then I can assure you it won't be a completely rational decision. Go ahead and disagree with me, but in my reality and words, it's how the world has been functioning online for about a decade; hear something, internalize, react, repeat... boom boom boom. Thankfully after this year I do believe the amount of people that can sit with something has increased. Are you one of them? I resent the phrase "the day the world stopped....
i know it's bound to happen. i can't keep my little bird in a little (or big) bubble, but it surely sucks when your babe gets hurt. i'm not sure if this counts as stella's first injury. it might be unless you count the time my earring scratched her head or when i bumped her nose or head, but ok, the first time i saw blood from my pretty lil thing. i have been putting off clipping her nails. i mean, i'm the one that is primarily getting scratches here so better me than her. if she'd rather abuse me than so be it. i have filed them a couple times, but i find it takes for-ev-er and she is wiggly and doesn't love it, but i do it in hopes of her not imposing injuries on herself from her over grown, sharp fingernails. well, last week i buckled down and said "today is the day i will clip her nails." i was getting scratches all over my arms and chest - i probably shouldn't go to work looking like i have been fighting with a tiger anymo...
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