Things No One tells You as a Mama [guest post]

so happy to have kate from Dave + Kate plus... share some of her tales of momma-hood. 

kate and i have known each other for quite some time, 

but actually reconnected over ... wait for it:  pregnancy & birth 

when she was pregnant with her little monster :)

it's been awesome to hear her mommie stories and 

seek out advice from someone who shares similar ideals.

thank you kate for your honesty and humor!

As Brenda (or Caren, or Netti, or whatever you call her) is embarking on her first few 
moments of mommyhood, I can’t help but think of my own dive, face-first, into what is

the most wonderful, exhausting, trying and beautiful time of my life.

When my little Monster was just a few days old, my sister and sister-in-law came to visit,

themselves each toting their new babies (3 months and 9 months old). I snuggled on the

couch with Vinny while they cooked, played with the babies and poured me a much-

needed glass of wine.

We talked about what it’s like to be a mom; what it’s like to love something so much;

what it’s like to feel like you simply *can’t* breastfeed anymore because your nipples are

sure to fall off, they are in so much pain.

I think that pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood are areas that still aren’t talked about

in enough detail to fully prepare you for what you’re going to experience.

My mother very directly said to me once in my pre-Mommy days, “I don’t want to tell

you what being pregnant is like because you won’t want to ever get pregnant.”

Truer words were never spoken. And pregnancy is the easy part! Then you physically

have the baby, and the entire labor, you’re thinking, “This is the hardest thing I have ever

done. Someone shoot me now to put me out of my misery.”

But even those 27 hours of hard labor aren’t anywhere near as challenging as being a

mother.

No one tells you exactly how sleep deprivation will affect you – never mind that you are

caring for another life while trying desperately to remember which is the gas pedal and

which is the brake.

No one tells you how you will have trouble falling asleep at night – tired as you are –

because you were foolish enough to watch the news and now you’re terrified at ever

letting your child get old enough to leave your arms, your house, your rule.

No one tells you that there will be times that you worry that maybe you rushed into this

parenting thing, maybe you should have waited longer to be a parent.

No one tells you that there will be times when you practically throw the baby at your

husband in tears, saying, “Just take him. I can’t be around him right now.”

No one tells you that it’s possible your body will hurt for days – even weeks – after

having the baby. And once the pain subsides and your midwife clears you to run again,

no one tells you that if you push yourself too hard you’ll get wicked hemorrhoids and cry

every time you have to go to the bathroom.

Something my mom did tell me, however, is that God makes babies cute to make up for

all that stuff.

And it’s true.

No one can really tell you what it’s like to look down at that little angel while you’re

feeding him and feel so much love you think your body will burst.

No one can really tell you how it feels to watch your baby cry and you wish and pray and

hope for anything to stop it because you feel their pain a million times more than they do.

No one can really tell you how it feels to watch your kid hit milestones – even the teeny

ones – and feel the pride that only a parent can feel.

No one can really tell you how it’s possible to look through pictures of your kids over

and over again and never get sick of it and insist other people look at them and not realize

that you’ve become that annoying parent who is always showing off pictures of you kid.

Before we become parents, all we get are little glimpses of what it’s like to be a parent.

We know it will be hard, we know it will be worth it. We just don’t know the details.

… And then, by the time your baby becomes a toddler, you’ll have forgotten all those

little details and you’re ready for Baby Number Two …