hurdles [returning to work]

when i was little i never questioned one thing-

whether i would be a good moma or not.

(i did question whether or not i would have the privilege to be one, 

but i always knew i would be a good one)

i never thought about the juggles of being a working moma though.

while it will be nice to have adult time of my own 

and something to energize my focus,

i will still miss being with my little.

some of my favorite parts of the day are in the morning with this little gal.

her big old-man-faced stretch and just simply watching her saw logs-

the morning time together is a favorite part of my day.

wait for it, i will miss breastfeeding.

there i said it.

it's become pretty special (and easy). 

i think it's also going to be hard to know 

i'm not the primary "teacher" every day,

but we are so very blessed to have our family taking care of of our dear 

and i know they have a vested interest in her best interest.

and i can't say i didn't luck out with this new gig-

i still have my fridays and some summer hours to spend more time my gal.

so while i had all these worries, maternity came and left,

i can say i survived.

i mean, of course i would, moma's have been returning to work

for some time now and they keep going back 

so clearly things do, in fact, work out.

i won't say there weren't any tears-

because there were, right here:

i won't say i wasn't feeling awful about leaving lamb chop-

because i simply did.

i won't say i was a little leery about scheduled pumping-

because i had some apprehension.

i won't say i slept well the night before-

because i tossed and turned like there was no tomorrow,

i tried to count sheep,

said hail marys,

did some yoga breathing,

kept my eyes open as long as i could hoping they'd be so tired they'd NEED to shut,

jabbed mister john in the ribs for sounding like a freight train...

but, overall, tired & emotional, the day went smooth.

... for both of us.

i not only returned to work, but i returned to a new gig.

i am working at the literacy network in our city 

where my main responsibility lies

in coordinating adult and children's basic reading programs.

it was exciting starting something fresh after such a big change in my life.

i think this over all will be a good fit 

and the ladies were very supportive and welcoming

being it was my first day leaving my lamb.

... and that pumping thing wasn't so bad considering

a) i have my own office {and it has a window, side bonus}

b) i have a fast flow

c) i can still whistle pump while i work

thanks for sending all the good vibes.

everyone says the first day is the hardest 

and i'm glad i faced it and it was not as scary as i thought.

stella had a fun, successful day with mamaw and didn't hate the bottle 

AS MUCH as we anticipated.

and we the little dear wanted snuggle time with moma 

more than usual in the eve, which i had NO problem with...

here's to the new adventures in moma work land.