hurdles [judging]
i don't believe in the typical judgement day of the all knowing looking down from "his" cloud and your life flashing before your eyes and sending you "up" or "down" -
i do believe that there is some relevance to judgement day when we reflect back on our life after we've passed and prepare for the next journey.
i'd like to improve my judging in order to grow and be more accepting of myself and other people.
i'm trying to take a step back when i realize this fault and admit i am judging.
perhaps this will help me evaluate why i feel the urge to be a judge-er.
it's part of our humanness, but heck, i'd like to improve.
lately when i am judging someone
i admit i judge.
i know people judge me.
at least when i say out loud (or type out loud) that i am judging i feel better.
i don't know if it actually does make it any better except in the case that there is no denial.
there is no rationalization because i am admitting i am being a jerk.
usually my judgements stem from my own insecurities or my own beliefs. i mean, no one wants their beliefs to be wrong, because then they lose their strength and meaning.
for example, i may judge someone on their nice house.
"they clearly get help from their parents. it's not normal for someone our age to have these nice things." or "yuppie. of course they have to have the 'best of the best' brands and new everything to show." or "really? you are a teacher and you drive a BMW and are building your first house? that doesn't add up. clearly trust funded or subsidized..."
ok now, really.
let's look at this.
why does it matter to me and my own life if someone has 'nicer' things than me? and who is deeming things nice or not nice in the first place? the ironic part is half the time i don't even want/like the typical "nice" things anyway. i give envy permission to permeate around me when in my reality.
does it really affect me? no. i love our house, but the truth is that i probably react in such a way due to some insecurity of my house not being good enough, with the 'nicest' of things. but, really who cares? who does my house and things have to be good enough for? well, me. and my family. i'm the only one setting any standards. anyone else doesn't matter. their judgement on my house and things shouldn't be relevant in my life... just as my judgements most likely won't affect what they do, buy or how they decorate.
and who cares if their parents 'help' or coddle them. i may disagree with adults being subsidized, but guess what? i don't know their full story. ever. and honestly whether it's a disservice or service for the person isn't my business. they have different lessons to learn in this life than me.
let it be. right john lennon?
i do believe that there is some relevance to judgement day when we reflect back on our life after we've passed and prepare for the next journey.
i'd like to improve my judging in order to grow and be more accepting of myself and other people.
i'm trying to take a step back when i realize this fault and admit i am judging.
perhaps this will help me evaluate why i feel the urge to be a judge-er.
it's part of our humanness, but heck, i'd like to improve.
lately when i am judging someone
i admit i judge.
i know people judge me.
at least when i say out loud (or type out loud) that i am judging i feel better.
i don't know if it actually does make it any better except in the case that there is no denial.
there is no rationalization because i am admitting i am being a jerk.
usually my judgements stem from my own insecurities or my own beliefs. i mean, no one wants their beliefs to be wrong, because then they lose their strength and meaning.
for example, i may judge someone on their nice house.
"they clearly get help from their parents. it's not normal for someone our age to have these nice things." or "yuppie. of course they have to have the 'best of the best' brands and new everything to show." or "really? you are a teacher and you drive a BMW and are building your first house? that doesn't add up. clearly trust funded or subsidized..."
ok now, really.
let's look at this.
why does it matter to me and my own life if someone has 'nicer' things than me? and who is deeming things nice or not nice in the first place? the ironic part is half the time i don't even want/like the typical "nice" things anyway. i give envy permission to permeate around me when in my reality.
does it really affect me? no. i love our house, but the truth is that i probably react in such a way due to some insecurity of my house not being good enough, with the 'nicest' of things. but, really who cares? who does my house and things have to be good enough for? well, me. and my family. i'm the only one setting any standards. anyone else doesn't matter. their judgement on my house and things shouldn't be relevant in my life... just as my judgements most likely won't affect what they do, buy or how they decorate.
and who cares if their parents 'help' or coddle them. i may disagree with adults being subsidized, but guess what? i don't know their full story. ever. and honestly whether it's a disservice or service for the person isn't my business. they have different lessons to learn in this life than me.
let it be. right john lennon?
Comments
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