to that little piece of skin.

-
dear little piece of skin,

i know why you are there and why you hang out.
literally hang out.

i try to love you and embrace you, but you are just so there.
all the friggin time.
and everyone tells me not to like you.
and to get rid of you.
you are weak in physical form,
but there is great strength from where you came from.

you are the aftermath of the greatest gift.
you are the constant reminder of the gift of motherhood
and the gift of imperfection that is myself.

some days you irritate me more than others.
most of them are the days i see post partum moms strutting their best,
oh so soon after birth.
it's when i compare i start to hate you.
and in turn, hate on me.

i hide you well
and i will likely continue to hide you.
i just want to keep hating you less and less
until one day i'll decide to just accept...

...and accept that the moms strutting their stuff probably are just hiding you too.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

the story of stella.

-
Image
it's been really hard to sit down and write this. not just because i keep falling asleep or stella needs to nurse... sure that is a part of it, but, there is a vulnerable part to writing this birth story that i have been having a hard time wrapping my head around. i'm an open book and this post will be a piece of that open book, but know that i still am sifting through some anger that things didn't go as "planned" even though for 10 months i mentally prepared for all possible outcomes and knowing the plan may not happen.  ...and per usual i didn't hold back on details. if you can't handle it, sorry. this is birth. INTRO: it was most important for me to bring our child into the world in the most organic way possible. after lots of research, resources and conversations we decided the best route to do this would be a home birth. we chose our midwife, found an amazing doula , and i received back up care the entire pregnancy from 2 obgyn's that i c
Read more

waiting for our arrival

-
over and over again, this theme rolls onward  in my life right now. i feel aligned, mostly positive, gracious and overall pretty happy.  there's been multiple times i wanted to sit and write this piece, but then there's this part of me that says "but what if things didn't work out as you said?" "what if you go broke?" "people will think you are tooting your own horn..."  but, honestly why do i care? this is me and if people get something from it, great. if not, also, great. same reason for me not going to use capital letters here... because i don't feel like it. like it or don't. negative self talk is so self deprecating. we wouldn't let someone talk to us like that, but we let ourselves talk us out of EVERYTHING! this is a little tale and peek into our life.  over a year ago john left his comfortable job with good benefits (no, really the best benefits there are, kind of benefits). he could do this job with his eyes closed,
Read more

what i have learned my baby's first month

-
i have a guest post coming about lessons learned in a baby's first year and i started tracking what i was learning because every day seemed like a new lesson. i'm certain this will grow. i have learned: 1. how much more laundry a little makes (not including cloth diapers).  our water bill coming must be astronomical. 2. it's not easy to be the same wife you once were while tending to a little.  our love may be stronger, but it takes more effort. 3. projectile vomiting is common among ferocious eating newborns. 4. large breasts are completely overrated. 5. how much you will melt looking at your husband with his daughter. 6. i'm not sure i can fathom someone else taking care of my child even if it's family. 7. that cheering over and congratulating large burps is a common occurrence. 8. that my driving has tremendously improved (and everyone else has become worse). 9. how fast the days go by because  a) we nap b) there is always something (everything) that ne
Read more