adventures with S + A
here we are.
5 weeks after A was born and 6 weeks after i stopped working and what a ride it's been.
it seems like i blinked and all the sudden i'm a SAHwM. which is pretty much how it happened. i was about 38.5 weeks pregnant and feeling work stress. i planned to take a maternity leave (which work was nice enough to grant me being i was a part time employee at a small agency), but felt this constant battle of wanting to stay home with my girls, but wondering if that is the "right" decision.
... will i like it?
... will i go crazy?
... am i crazy?
... will i miss adult interaction?
... will we survive on 1 income?
the answer, without hesitation, is that it was the right decision. as soon as i gave my notice, i felt a weight lifted. it was a feeling of 'i can have this baby now' ... almost like the universe was telling me to close that chapter, take a break (short) and prepare to be home with S + A. there were signs along the way and i'm happy i decided to listen. although, my hubs told me to just stop working and relax and we would figure it out. it certainly helped to have the unwavering support of him especially since he just started his own business not all that long ago. BUT one thing is for sure, we both heavily have been paying attention to the signs that have surfaced along the way and so far things are just fine. if not, better. i read something in a minimalist article right before resigning - it read something like: once you commit to being a 1 income family or taking a pay cut, you figure it out because you are committed to making it work. that sums it up.
it's not a piece of cake, but the cliche line of 'i wouldn't trade this gig for the world' is how i feel. even on my hard days, and oh there are some, i'd rather be here and it's nice to be at peace with that.
and honestly, i don't miss adult interaction bc i don't have to... i see parents on play dates, my parents are around, i'm married to an adult and i'm not shy when i'm out. of course i'm an introvert by nature, but that doesn't mean i don't enjoy an adult conversation. i recently read an article about "my toddler being my best friend" or something and it does ring true. it sounds silly and maybe pathetic, but i'm having a blast with my 3.5 year old! and yes, there are days we butt heads and she tries me to the max by being obstinate or "bossy", but she is also so sweet, cuddly, helpful, funny and i enjoy our daily conversations.
overall, even only 5 weeks in, things are well. if i'm being honest, we turned a corner where i can say having 2 is easier for me than having 1 at this age. no, it's NOT easy, but since i'm not working i don't feel rushed on a regular basis, i don't feel much guilt about spending time with 1 or both of them and i don't spend my time worrying about this and that.
it does help that A is a much better sleeper and for now, she seems like a more "chill" being. it could be that i'm a more relaxed mom this time around too, but there's less freaking out. most of the freaking out happens with S when she decides to flex whatever muscle she chooses for me. sigh. Three-nager has entered the scene, folks.
S has just grown up on me! she is quite the helper when she wants to be and her enthusiasm at certain things is contagious. She is my little voice, reminding me of my tone and words when i hear them back at me. she has taken to loving her sister most of the time and enjoys holding her on her lap.
Recently, S drew a picture of "real" things and started coloring in the lines. While this isn't a huge deal, it's so nice to see her take the lead instead of always saying "draw or color this for me." she is without a doubt, a perfectionist. she's always complaining that it's not straight enough, or the flower she drew doesn't look like she wants it to look...
i guess the apple doesn't fall far.
we are back at the vision therapy. while she still fight and procrastinates with me regularly we at least seem to be making progress in the exercises a little bit. we meet with the ophthalmologist and optometrist the end of the month. she may just be too young to understand the benefits of VT so it might be a slower process than we'd like, but i'm confident that it's the route we want to take.
A, while only 5 weeks has grown on me too ... physically she is 11.5 lbs! And overall she is showing more alertness every day. she is on no regular pattern what so ever, but i guess that is normal if i recall. some things come back to me and some don't.
A has given me a good amount of sleep overall. while it's no 7-8 hours, she's been doing 3.5-5 stretches somewhat regularly and LET ME TELL YOU THIS:
these stretches make a world of a difference when having a newborn. I now have a taste of what it's like to live in the shoes of all the mom's i hated previously for having babies that actually sleep somewhat well. now, hopefully everyone can hate me! I'd be thrilled if it means A continues a good pattern. HATE ME, i dare you... it's worth it to feel sane and somewhat alive.
there's no real milestones or anything i'm looking for, but A is strong. she moves her head like a champ and knows what she wants. she's a good little eater and we are on a great ride nursing after feeling like i was drowning in milk those first 2-3 weeks. the rhythm is here, i'm just not that patient. shocker.
the only tough part with A has been around 8-10 p.m. Not always, but often she will scream on and off during this time. (more on than off...)
it's her fussy time and i've accepted it. the past couple nights i just fed her but she seemed like she wanted to just nurse so i gave in and it at least, appeared to calm her a bit where i wasn't fighting with a screaming infant. i know it won't last forever either. it's annoying, but i remember S doing something similar. so far, my girls are very different, but i still recognize a few things that ring true for both. it will be interesting to see how things progress with A coming into her own personality!
so our adventures are small, but they have been really rewarding. i love taking the gals out in the stroller for long walks. It's usually to the garden and then a stop at the coffee shop. it doesn't hurt that i get some exercise on the side too! we haven't done much, but the times at the zoo, walks or with friends have been great so far.
here's to more... to the good, the bad, the sass, the snuggles and the laughs... it's good to know things are right.
5 weeks after A was born and 6 weeks after i stopped working and what a ride it's been.
it seems like i blinked and all the sudden i'm a SAHwM. which is pretty much how it happened. i was about 38.5 weeks pregnant and feeling work stress. i planned to take a maternity leave (which work was nice enough to grant me being i was a part time employee at a small agency), but felt this constant battle of wanting to stay home with my girls, but wondering if that is the "right" decision.
... will i like it?
... will i go crazy?
... am i crazy?
... will i miss adult interaction?
... will we survive on 1 income?
the answer, without hesitation, is that it was the right decision. as soon as i gave my notice, i felt a weight lifted. it was a feeling of 'i can have this baby now' ... almost like the universe was telling me to close that chapter, take a break (short) and prepare to be home with S + A. there were signs along the way and i'm happy i decided to listen. although, my hubs told me to just stop working and relax and we would figure it out. it certainly helped to have the unwavering support of him especially since he just started his own business not all that long ago. BUT one thing is for sure, we both heavily have been paying attention to the signs that have surfaced along the way and so far things are just fine. if not, better. i read something in a minimalist article right before resigning - it read something like: once you commit to being a 1 income family or taking a pay cut, you figure it out because you are committed to making it work. that sums it up.
it's not a piece of cake, but the cliche line of 'i wouldn't trade this gig for the world' is how i feel. even on my hard days, and oh there are some, i'd rather be here and it's nice to be at peace with that.
and honestly, i don't miss adult interaction bc i don't have to... i see parents on play dates, my parents are around, i'm married to an adult and i'm not shy when i'm out. of course i'm an introvert by nature, but that doesn't mean i don't enjoy an adult conversation. i recently read an article about "my toddler being my best friend" or something and it does ring true. it sounds silly and maybe pathetic, but i'm having a blast with my 3.5 year old! and yes, there are days we butt heads and she tries me to the max by being obstinate or "bossy", but she is also so sweet, cuddly, helpful, funny and i enjoy our daily conversations.
overall, even only 5 weeks in, things are well. if i'm being honest, we turned a corner where i can say having 2 is easier for me than having 1 at this age. no, it's NOT easy, but since i'm not working i don't feel rushed on a regular basis, i don't feel much guilt about spending time with 1 or both of them and i don't spend my time worrying about this and that.
it does help that A is a much better sleeper and for now, she seems like a more "chill" being. it could be that i'm a more relaxed mom this time around too, but there's less freaking out. most of the freaking out happens with S when she decides to flex whatever muscle she chooses for me. sigh. Three-nager has entered the scene, folks.
S has just grown up on me! she is quite the helper when she wants to be and her enthusiasm at certain things is contagious. She is my little voice, reminding me of my tone and words when i hear them back at me. she has taken to loving her sister most of the time and enjoys holding her on her lap.
Recently, S drew a picture of "real" things and started coloring in the lines. While this isn't a huge deal, it's so nice to see her take the lead instead of always saying "draw or color this for me." she is without a doubt, a perfectionist. she's always complaining that it's not straight enough, or the flower she drew doesn't look like she wants it to look...
i guess the apple doesn't fall far.
we are back at the vision therapy. while she still fight and procrastinates with me regularly we at least seem to be making progress in the exercises a little bit. we meet with the ophthalmologist and optometrist the end of the month. she may just be too young to understand the benefits of VT so it might be a slower process than we'd like, but i'm confident that it's the route we want to take.
A, while only 5 weeks has grown on me too ... physically she is 11.5 lbs! And overall she is showing more alertness every day. she is on no regular pattern what so ever, but i guess that is normal if i recall. some things come back to me and some don't.
A has given me a good amount of sleep overall. while it's no 7-8 hours, she's been doing 3.5-5 stretches somewhat regularly and LET ME TELL YOU THIS:
these stretches make a world of a difference when having a newborn. I now have a taste of what it's like to live in the shoes of all the mom's i hated previously for having babies that actually sleep somewhat well. now, hopefully everyone can hate me! I'd be thrilled if it means A continues a good pattern. HATE ME, i dare you... it's worth it to feel sane and somewhat alive.
there's no real milestones or anything i'm looking for, but A is strong. she moves her head like a champ and knows what she wants. she's a good little eater and we are on a great ride nursing after feeling like i was drowning in milk those first 2-3 weeks. the rhythm is here, i'm just not that patient. shocker.
the only tough part with A has been around 8-10 p.m. Not always, but often she will scream on and off during this time. (more on than off...)
it's her fussy time and i've accepted it. the past couple nights i just fed her but she seemed like she wanted to just nurse so i gave in and it at least, appeared to calm her a bit where i wasn't fighting with a screaming infant. i know it won't last forever either. it's annoying, but i remember S doing something similar. so far, my girls are very different, but i still recognize a few things that ring true for both. it will be interesting to see how things progress with A coming into her own personality!
so our adventures are small, but they have been really rewarding. i love taking the gals out in the stroller for long walks. It's usually to the garden and then a stop at the coffee shop. it doesn't hurt that i get some exercise on the side too! we haven't done much, but the times at the zoo, walks or with friends have been great so far.
here's to more... to the good, the bad, the sass, the snuggles and the laughs... it's good to know things are right.
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