adventures with S + A 2.0
stellakh,
as you think your name is spelled... sometimes you are a conundrum and other days oh, so predictable. i guess another word for this is parenting...
1. vocabulary.
i would say for your age you have a great vocabulary. we read a book about "big words" and i laughed bc you use a lot of them already: privacy, cooperate, patience, appropriate..
i try to use big words (aka regular words) around you and then i hear you say them in your make believe play or back to me like "mommy, you aren't cooperating!" i love hearing you try new words and use them in context... and sometimes... almost in context.
we are on a book kick and it's awesome! the last week we read a gazillion books (ok well some over and over, but there were 2 days where just about all we did was read books!) we've started going to the library every couple weeks to get some fresh books and read with me 1v1 for an hour or so while Ana stays back.
2. frustration.
this is a magical age. i truly love it. age 3-4 has been VERY fun! BUT, you remain stubborn in your ways and your whining or tantruming can die immediately. terrible two's? pshhhhhh. whatever.... it's the "terrible 3's" if i'd have to label anything. you are truly warm-hearted, loving, snuggling and overall a good little girl, but when you get in a mood, or set on something your whining is like nails on a chalkboard or worse. i TRY to keep my cool, but don't always succeed. it's like the universe is testing my patience with your sounds. i'm sorry when i let you push me over the edge. we are both learning.
which brings me to:
3. jealousy.
you, by nature, don't seem like a terribly jealous person, but since Ana joined us you certainly have shown this trait more. duh. not a surprise, being you are sharing all your favorite people with Ana now. Ana typically needs more immediate attention when she cries so your life and play has been interrupted. all this is normal, but i'd be lying if i said i DIDN'T find it annoying when you test me and act out due to jealousy. again, i'm TRYING to stop and ask how you feel or simply ask if you are jealous before things escalate. this at least gets it out in the open. it doesn't always work and sometimes i'm too late, but worth a shot.
which brings me to:
4. being a big sister.
you are a lover. you do love your sister and your talk with her or about her when you don't think i can hear you is absolutely adorable. you tell me "i love baby ana." and "she's so cute" or "i think she needs her stella bella" when she cries. you randomly ask to hold her, but sometimes forget to be as gentle or after 15 seconds it's no longer that interesting. you as my friend puts it "love too hard" ... perfectly put... like stop pushing on her head, you can pull her by her neck, don't squeeze her foot. i actually tell you she will be bigger than you one day so you probably should be nice and gentle with her ha! oops...
the times you are mean to her are 99% of the time out of jealousy when you do it to gain my attention out of something negative. sigh.
i hate this.
i very much try to give you 1v1 time even though you seem to play beautifully and independently too. it's a tough balance since you play well alone, but i want to show you i am here to play with you too.
which brings me to:
5. listening.
sister, you ain't so good in this department. i mean, you aren't even 4 and you are without question, a free spirit, your own unique self, but there are times i WISH i could say something and you'd listen the first time. i do know that your attention is somewhat tied to your vision. not all, but the way you focus on things is different... you get so engrossed in a task or project.
this isn't all the time, but i have to admit, it's not often you listen the first time. it helps when i go over the game plan a time or 2 first, but if you are interested in something else, it's almost like you tune me out. hello? isn't that not supposed to happen until you are like, idk, 13 or something? sigh.
you practically went into highway traffic on the roebling bridge last month. i had to sprint up the stairs to chase you and grab you before exploring the top of the bridge... not to mention leaving ana in the stroller at the bottom on the bridge. now, you tell everyone about the blue bridge and how you aren't allowed to go without a mommy or a daddy so you don't fall into the water. (ok. maybe i got through to you a little now since you are repeating this. let's hope so!)
we will get there. i'm going to have to find my own unique way of making it work, but we will get there. it's different now with 2. i can't just follow your every move.. there's another being in a stroller or not.
you are ready for school (and so am i!), but i'm curious and hopeful that your listening will improve some here.
6. idiosyncrasies.
is this normal for a 3.5 year old to not forget anything? seriously... you don't forget anything. you also recall things from stories and connect them to something in your life. you are always trying to connect the dots or see how things work and how they work in your own life. there are things you talk about from 2938567820 years ago as if they were yesterday.
you like to read books backwards. not all books, but there are a certain few you like to read backwards - you say "you can see it better." i'm not sure what that means - if it's visual, if it's a left handed thing if you are L handed, if you simply like the story backwards? you also like to leave open your books to your "favorite page" in each one. after reading it you feel the need to display your favorite page on the floor. sooooooooo, if you come over and there are 10 million books opened on the floor in our house, you'll know they are all stella's favorite pages!
you still switch back and forth from R to L hand too. you are starting to understand letters, but you write them the way you want, not exactly the way that is typically taught. whatever i guess! holy perfectionist though! when you do something and it's not up to standard you say "no that's not right!" or "that's a squiggly line!" in disgust that it's not perfect.
other perfectionism includes jumping in the pool wrong. you saw kids running and jumping in the pool and wanted to do it like them. i could tell you were hesitant though, but said you could try it if you were comfortable. you did a simple jump, but said "no that's not right. i need to go fast." we don't wear your glasses while swimming so i get nervous too, but let you try as you will figure out your comfort level regardless.
you'd make a bad criminal. when i hear "mommy don't come here" it usually means you are doing something you shouldn't or trying something you think might be questionable. thanks for making it obvious!
you love your city! every time we go out, you ask "are we going to pass my city?!" aka pass or go downtown :) i love that you share the same love for the city! while you don't understand it's awesomeness, you enjoy recognizing parts of it. we were at the bookstore and there was a puzzle with a cincinnati scene showing union terminal and music hall and you yelled "loooook, it's my city - there's the museum and washington park!" the worker seemed to enjoy your enthusiasm too!
your make believe play is very emphatic! there is lots of concerts by your elsa and ana (your 2 pez dispensers lol), pretending to be a mommy to your baby dolls (i hear a lot of my words during this), or acting things out from a book and there's lots of singing!! lots! but you are very picky about who gets to watch or listen. a love to perform, but a little bit of stage fright.
7. joy.
you truly are a joy. you can be a tough cookie, but i wouldn't trade or change you for anything. your spirit is so lively and when you are happy you shine. people seem drawn to you... complete strangers always comment on your hair, glasses or for whatever reason they have want to talk to you. (well, shoot, can i blame them?!)
you LOVE daddy... i miss being your #1, but i love that you LOVE daddy. your excitement when he comes home is amazing. it's so sweet when you only want him to get up with you (and not just because i'll get to sleep haha). or if i interject it's "no mommy, i'm talking to daddy."
this is way longer than i anticipated of course, but i'm sure i still didn't cover it all. you are my one of a kind little red. <3
ana girl,
of course i don't have as much to type about you, but your sister has about 3 years on you, kid.
1. bye bye infant.
your little personality is starting to shine!
from we see, you are chill and independent. your smiles and gurgles are the sweetest and you love to "talk" back to us especially your sister. you love to be included.
2. sleep.
when you are tired you want to sleep and that is that. you can sleep in the same room with people talking or doing daily activities and prefer it, but you don't want to snuggle while you sleep.
such a little sleeper champ! i guess we can thank daddy as he likes to sleep too?! or your size? i don't know, but girl, i certainly appreciate your love for sleep habits. i'm practicing with you in the crib in the evening more so you get more used to it, but you prefer to fall asleep downstairs still.
3. hmmmmm.
your fussy time in the evening was short lived and we conquered by the swing. there's a time every night we'd pull out the swing and you'd zone out and calm. BUT this past week or so your fuss time is back and you've rejected the swing. not cool, but i can't complain bc overall you are a good, easy babe. it's as if you flex your muscles when overstimulated. i've found when we are out in the late afternoon or early evening you are more likely to fuss and scream later in the eve. it's still a hypothesis, but i think you like to be home between 5-8pm. a little hard on the schedule, and we take you out anyway (um, swim lessons are 2 days a week at 6pm soooooooooooooooo...), but those nights you usually fuss more. i'm sure it'll be short lived, but i wish i could get you to stop crying quicker.
4. eating
not a spitter upper over all which is nice. you only eat when hungry. if i offer you a boob when i think you might be hungry, you ONLY latch when you want to. annnnd that's totally cool you know what you want. your digestive tract is much different than stella though... TMI? let's just say we go through a lot more outfits than we did with stella...
5. independent.
you aren't really into baby wearing. i've done it a few times bc of necessity and you ended up falling asleep, but you aren't that baby that's like "oh yay! mommy's got me close!"
and heck, maybe it's because it's summer and hot and you, like me, HATE being hot. maybe in the fall and winter you'll appreciate an ergo or moby a bit more.
i feel like i know you so much better than i knew your sister at 3 months. i'm sure it has something to do with the whole 2nd time around thing. you are simply a big ball of sweetness and i could take a bite out of your morning smiles and daytime chatter! <3
how is the momma getting along?
overall, i'd say pretty well. i'd be lying if i said i didn't like a nice break to talk child-free with friends or uh, my spouse. and i very much appreciate the time doing yoga or jogging without being pounced on. when i jog i tell stella "it makes me a better mommy" and it's the straight up truth!
each week i'm finding more rhythm and balance, but there's never any easy routine or schedule with a 3 yo and 3 mo. there just isn't. my attention is always diverted and my mind is usually multi-tasking. that's not to say i don't sit and zone out with the kiddies for a bit. we do fun things ALL the time. i often think about how blessed stella is with doing activities and going out for this and that, but i, even as a SAHwM use a daily/weekly 'to do' list. i don't know any other way to keep up with weekly (or daily vision or physical therapy tasks) without it.
john has been working a lot. even when he's home, he's working a lot. it's the price you pay for starting your own business. the good news is: it's going well and he likes what he's doing. annnd i dare not complain at the hours since it affords me the ability to stay home with the girls and put more energy into my own small business.
[if he reads this: i'm so proud of him!]
i have to say. life is good.
there are days when i want to pull my hair out.
there are days when everything feels annoyingly magical.
there are days i'm dreaming of coffee.
there are days when i've conquered the whole 'to do'.
i sincerely can't imagine not being with these two crazy cats every day. the 4 of us are chugging along bit by bit with what we've got and it's enough. i'll always have a want for more, but we have everything we need.
and that is my adventure 2.0
the end.
as you think your name is spelled... sometimes you are a conundrum and other days oh, so predictable. i guess another word for this is parenting...
1. vocabulary.
i would say for your age you have a great vocabulary. we read a book about "big words" and i laughed bc you use a lot of them already: privacy, cooperate, patience, appropriate..
i try to use big words (aka regular words) around you and then i hear you say them in your make believe play or back to me like "mommy, you aren't cooperating!" i love hearing you try new words and use them in context... and sometimes... almost in context.
we are on a book kick and it's awesome! the last week we read a gazillion books (ok well some over and over, but there were 2 days where just about all we did was read books!) we've started going to the library every couple weeks to get some fresh books and read with me 1v1 for an hour or so while Ana stays back.
this is a magical age. i truly love it. age 3-4 has been VERY fun! BUT, you remain stubborn in your ways and your whining or tantruming can die immediately. terrible two's? pshhhhhh. whatever.... it's the "terrible 3's" if i'd have to label anything. you are truly warm-hearted, loving, snuggling and overall a good little girl, but when you get in a mood, or set on something your whining is like nails on a chalkboard or worse. i TRY to keep my cool, but don't always succeed. it's like the universe is testing my patience with your sounds. i'm sorry when i let you push me over the edge. we are both learning.
which brings me to:
3. jealousy.
you, by nature, don't seem like a terribly jealous person, but since Ana joined us you certainly have shown this trait more. duh. not a surprise, being you are sharing all your favorite people with Ana now. Ana typically needs more immediate attention when she cries so your life and play has been interrupted. all this is normal, but i'd be lying if i said i DIDN'T find it annoying when you test me and act out due to jealousy. again, i'm TRYING to stop and ask how you feel or simply ask if you are jealous before things escalate. this at least gets it out in the open. it doesn't always work and sometimes i'm too late, but worth a shot.
which brings me to:
4. being a big sister.
you are a lover. you do love your sister and your talk with her or about her when you don't think i can hear you is absolutely adorable. you tell me "i love baby ana." and "she's so cute" or "i think she needs her stella bella" when she cries. you randomly ask to hold her, but sometimes forget to be as gentle or after 15 seconds it's no longer that interesting. you as my friend puts it "love too hard" ... perfectly put... like stop pushing on her head, you can pull her by her neck, don't squeeze her foot. i actually tell you she will be bigger than you one day so you probably should be nice and gentle with her ha! oops...
i hate this.
i very much try to give you 1v1 time even though you seem to play beautifully and independently too. it's a tough balance since you play well alone, but i want to show you i am here to play with you too.
which brings me to:
5. listening.
sister, you ain't so good in this department. i mean, you aren't even 4 and you are without question, a free spirit, your own unique self, but there are times i WISH i could say something and you'd listen the first time. i do know that your attention is somewhat tied to your vision. not all, but the way you focus on things is different... you get so engrossed in a task or project.
this isn't all the time, but i have to admit, it's not often you listen the first time. it helps when i go over the game plan a time or 2 first, but if you are interested in something else, it's almost like you tune me out. hello? isn't that not supposed to happen until you are like, idk, 13 or something? sigh.
you practically went into highway traffic on the roebling bridge last month. i had to sprint up the stairs to chase you and grab you before exploring the top of the bridge... not to mention leaving ana in the stroller at the bottom on the bridge. now, you tell everyone about the blue bridge and how you aren't allowed to go without a mommy or a daddy so you don't fall into the water. (ok. maybe i got through to you a little now since you are repeating this. let's hope so!)
we will get there. i'm going to have to find my own unique way of making it work, but we will get there. it's different now with 2. i can't just follow your every move.. there's another being in a stroller or not.
you are ready for school (and so am i!), but i'm curious and hopeful that your listening will improve some here.
is this normal for a 3.5 year old to not forget anything? seriously... you don't forget anything. you also recall things from stories and connect them to something in your life. you are always trying to connect the dots or see how things work and how they work in your own life. there are things you talk about from 2938567820 years ago as if they were yesterday.
you like to read books backwards. not all books, but there are a certain few you like to read backwards - you say "you can see it better." i'm not sure what that means - if it's visual, if it's a left handed thing if you are L handed, if you simply like the story backwards? you also like to leave open your books to your "favorite page" in each one. after reading it you feel the need to display your favorite page on the floor. sooooooooo, if you come over and there are 10 million books opened on the floor in our house, you'll know they are all stella's favorite pages!
other perfectionism includes jumping in the pool wrong. you saw kids running and jumping in the pool and wanted to do it like them. i could tell you were hesitant though, but said you could try it if you were comfortable. you did a simple jump, but said "no that's not right. i need to go fast." we don't wear your glasses while swimming so i get nervous too, but let you try as you will figure out your comfort level regardless.
you'd make a bad criminal. when i hear "mommy don't come here" it usually means you are doing something you shouldn't or trying something you think might be questionable. thanks for making it obvious!
you love your city! every time we go out, you ask "are we going to pass my city?!" aka pass or go downtown :) i love that you share the same love for the city! while you don't understand it's awesomeness, you enjoy recognizing parts of it. we were at the bookstore and there was a puzzle with a cincinnati scene showing union terminal and music hall and you yelled "loooook, it's my city - there's the museum and washington park!" the worker seemed to enjoy your enthusiasm too!
7. joy.
you truly are a joy. you can be a tough cookie, but i wouldn't trade or change you for anything. your spirit is so lively and when you are happy you shine. people seem drawn to you... complete strangers always comment on your hair, glasses or for whatever reason they have want to talk to you. (well, shoot, can i blame them?!)
this is way longer than i anticipated of course, but i'm sure i still didn't cover it all. you are my one of a kind little red. <3
ana girl,
of course i don't have as much to type about you, but your sister has about 3 years on you, kid.
1. bye bye infant.
your little personality is starting to shine!
from we see, you are chill and independent. your smiles and gurgles are the sweetest and you love to "talk" back to us especially your sister. you love to be included.
when you are tired you want to sleep and that is that. you can sleep in the same room with people talking or doing daily activities and prefer it, but you don't want to snuggle while you sleep.
such a little sleeper champ! i guess we can thank daddy as he likes to sleep too?! or your size? i don't know, but girl, i certainly appreciate your love for sleep habits. i'm practicing with you in the crib in the evening more so you get more used to it, but you prefer to fall asleep downstairs still.
3. hmmmmm.
your fussy time in the evening was short lived and we conquered by the swing. there's a time every night we'd pull out the swing and you'd zone out and calm. BUT this past week or so your fuss time is back and you've rejected the swing. not cool, but i can't complain bc overall you are a good, easy babe. it's as if you flex your muscles when overstimulated. i've found when we are out in the late afternoon or early evening you are more likely to fuss and scream later in the eve. it's still a hypothesis, but i think you like to be home between 5-8pm. a little hard on the schedule, and we take you out anyway (um, swim lessons are 2 days a week at 6pm soooooooooooooooo...), but those nights you usually fuss more. i'm sure it'll be short lived, but i wish i could get you to stop crying quicker.
4. eating
not a spitter upper over all which is nice. you only eat when hungry. if i offer you a boob when i think you might be hungry, you ONLY latch when you want to. annnnd that's totally cool you know what you want. your digestive tract is much different than stella though... TMI? let's just say we go through a lot more outfits than we did with stella...
you aren't really into baby wearing. i've done it a few times bc of necessity and you ended up falling asleep, but you aren't that baby that's like "oh yay! mommy's got me close!"
and heck, maybe it's because it's summer and hot and you, like me, HATE being hot. maybe in the fall and winter you'll appreciate an ergo or moby a bit more.
i feel like i know you so much better than i knew your sister at 3 months. i'm sure it has something to do with the whole 2nd time around thing. you are simply a big ball of sweetness and i could take a bite out of your morning smiles and daytime chatter! <3
how is the momma getting along?
overall, i'd say pretty well. i'd be lying if i said i didn't like a nice break to talk child-free with friends or uh, my spouse. and i very much appreciate the time doing yoga or jogging without being pounced on. when i jog i tell stella "it makes me a better mommy" and it's the straight up truth!
each week i'm finding more rhythm and balance, but there's never any easy routine or schedule with a 3 yo and 3 mo. there just isn't. my attention is always diverted and my mind is usually multi-tasking. that's not to say i don't sit and zone out with the kiddies for a bit. we do fun things ALL the time. i often think about how blessed stella is with doing activities and going out for this and that, but i, even as a SAHwM use a daily/weekly 'to do' list. i don't know any other way to keep up with weekly (or daily vision or physical therapy tasks) without it.
john has been working a lot. even when he's home, he's working a lot. it's the price you pay for starting your own business. the good news is: it's going well and he likes what he's doing. annnd i dare not complain at the hours since it affords me the ability to stay home with the girls and put more energy into my own small business.
[if he reads this: i'm so proud of him!]
there are days when i want to pull my hair out.
there are days when everything feels annoyingly magical.
there are days i'm dreaming of coffee.
there are days when i've conquered the whole 'to do'.
i sincerely can't imagine not being with these two crazy cats every day. the 4 of us are chugging along bit by bit with what we've got and it's enough. i'll always have a want for more, but we have everything we need.
and that is my adventure 2.0
the end.
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