the long and the short of it. (pun intended, after the fact).
so this is sort of weird, I'm writing about a haircut as if it's novel idea or a unique event ha.
I haven't written a blog entry in like 12,000 years and I'm opening up a draft to write about my hair. yep, I'm that cool, everyone.
but honestly, let's just do this once. I've told people who asked and even strangers like the barista inquired. so there, while I'm not ashamed or opposed to telling people, I know it's only a matter of time of me getting tired of saying the same thing. oops. (kind of like when you are 9 months pregnant and everyone asks "when you are going to have that baby?" and you are like "I'm not Jesus." ... ok, so it's not really like that, but you get the idea of repetition off that wee example, right?!
my story begins about 9 years ago when my dear friend shaved her head. she was (is) stunning. on a whim she got rid of her hair. I knew it would look fabulous, bc she has one of those faces that don't even need hair to compliment them. i never really thought about going bald until she did this. or at least I never really seriously considered it though I'm sure it crossed my mind as I've never loved fancy-ing my hair. I thought it was adventurous and I envied the lack of maintenance. now I don't have a face like hers, but I know I have a decent looking face and head shape so it never was out of the question.
I also knew I was going to be engaged soon, and well, vain or not, I wanted my hair long, in some form of an updo for my wedding so there went that. first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby .... and another one ... and then ...
{I wasn't going to share this part, but honestly I think it's more common than people lead on, after all, I've received plenty of emails from the school from cases of...dundundun. lice}
... then my daughter got lice. and I got it too. both, actually pretty mild cases. I thought only dirty people got lice, but turns out thanks to my dear friend google that anyone can get it, dirty or not. I mean, if only dirty people got lice, I can assure you we would NOT get it. I likely over-bathe my children as I like the routine and going to bed clean. I, myself shower and ungodly amount of times because I feel better. it's likely overkill, but I don't care.
I also got lice as a child from one of those hair wrap thingie's. you know, the kind that they take some hair and wrap it all fancy with thread and beads... somehow ... lice. so needless to say our children will never be investing in those cute little hair wraps they sell mainly at the beach or whatever. ok, but really, it made me feel better know I had it as a kid and survived haha.
I had been itching in the shower and just thought it was because I made my scalp peel off from the scalding hot showers I like to take. and see above, I likely over-bathe as well.
sorry, I probably should have put a warning on this:
<caution: may trigger psychosomatic itching>
...but it was a while and I was convinced I had lice. it just didn't make any sense. I couldn't check myself, but I went to buy stuff anyway bc my daughter started to complain of itching. I thought it was because I was talking about it and because the mosquitos adore her sweetness so she was simply itching bug bites. I went to go get the goods even before I checked her. I checked her that night and boom. found something. minuscule little bastards. like I said, pretty mild overall, but I knew it. (I actually was relieved bc I could make sense of the itching).
so we checked and treated everyone even though only 2 of us showed up with them. we barely could find any on me, but it was more like a kick in the butt to pull the trigger to try out no hair. I mean, by all means, I didn't solely shave my head because of lice hahaha. I certainly knew there were other options, but given the fact that I was already on bad terms with my hair so I kind of didn't care about getting rid of it. it wasn't until I jokingly said "I'm 99% ok with shaving my head." that I realized that I was sort of excited to do it. then I kept thinking about how freeing it will be... sure, passing thoughts of "what the f$%^ am I doing" pass by, but it also forced me to take on the mantra of "I am not my hair."
which is true.
like I said, I was already on bad terms with my hair, if you can have such terms.
to be honest, when I think about this feature I only think about it with happy thoughts when I a) got a hair cut b) did something drastic like a bold change in size or color or c) my wedding (well done, gina!).
most of the time, I'm all like it's static-y, kind of a yawn, pain to make it look good, hot/sweaty... I never grew up with hair that I could go days without washing and it would lay fabulous or look like a barbie doll. nope. and don't get me wrong here, i'm not naive to the fact that this silly little gesture is not unique to me and by no means do I take my hair for granted. I did this knowing that I am blessed it will grow back. and quickly at that. i was practically on the verge of getting a pixie in the next couple of months anyway.
it's also nice that John said he didn't think it would look bad, he actually said it would look good or something like that. while I wouldn't do it or not do it based on what he said, it was still nice to have my significant other's "blessing". so we made it a family affair. I thought Stella would enjoy cutting my hair so we headed out to the front yard and just went for it. I didn't care what she did knowing I was going to pixie it myself after that. Im lucky John was in the military and has been cutting heads since sliced bread... so we kept going shorter until we both agreed on the best length. we went through all the lengths on the way there so I get to see how "awesome" (sarcasm) I am going to look during some of the grow out phases.
stella is/was mostly anxious that I will get made fun of. so it's brought up some good topics of accepting people and what's really important and beautiful in people and people who make fun of people probably aren't the kindest of people. and, uh why do we care about such things in life??!! she wants to protect me bc in her eyes it's not fancy/feminine so I showed her some other bald women pics and she saw that bald women can still be beautiful. I'm sure there are plenty of bald women by choice, but it's not the norm. I think of crazy Britney Spears phase (hmmm Halloween costume?) and other Hollywood peeps and then 2 other people I know come to mind. other than that, I'm out.
it's been an interesting week to say the least. half the time I forget about it until I look in the mirror or I run into someone and they are like "omg!!" and all that jazz. overall the response has been super positive. actually way more than I thought. I mean, at least I'm assuming it's genuine hahaha or I know a lot of good actors. I find it interesting how perfect strangers want to make conversation about it if they see the transformation. the lady at the bookstore, the barista, the receptionist... it's also a little funny that people are amazed too, because after some days now it sort of is what it is. I told John that sometimes I look in the mirror and love it and sometimes I look and think oh jeez. BUT I'll have you know when I had long hair I did the exact same thing.
then there's the not so lovely comments from family "I hate it" "I don't like it" or insert blank stare. well congratulations you hate it. sheesh, it's here now, I can't change it. you DO NOT have to like it, but straight up telling someone is sort of rude and awkward, but whatever. I can't say I'm good at pretending so I guess I'll be empathetic enough. can we keep the commentary to ourselves please? really for the sake of my kid who is taking notes on what people think and say especially in regard to appearance. it's made me want to show the girls even more that what people think does not matter. it only matters if I like it and am okay with it. it's forced me to walk beside them (and alone) with pride, proving I am the same person and people won't be mean to me. and it reminds me that I am me, not my hair or anything else I try to convey. this is not what makes me intrinsically feminine. I will admit I do wear a little more make up now and when I'm tired there's nothing to distract you so I might try to cover up a bag or two.
I am aware that I have some really "cute" phases ahead of me when I grow it, but it's one of those things, you only know what you know. and if you are curious or want to try something new (hair or whatever it is) just do it. (like within reason, not against the law obviously). I'm not a master at this, but I don't like to live in question. while I will never wish lice on anyone, I'm actually happy it helped me pull the trigger, because I forgot how much I wanted to say F it and just see...
and honestly it's liberating, freeing and so friggin easy. it's kind of awesome. and I'm bald by choice - I have a deeper appreciation for those who are forced to make this decision because they know they won't be able to keep it due to the treatment plan. I CERTAINLY don't know what all of that emotionally is like, but I have just a tiny, tiny taste of what it's like letting go of a part of you. my deepest respect to those who are not bald by choice.
have you ever wanted to just hit reset on something? like start over? a friend asked me "so why did you do it? are you like the rest of us that are all like blah I'm sick of it?" and while it's just hair, the answer is yes, I kind of just needed to go for it.
other than that it shows i'm still the same a-hole mom that over-bathes and yells too much, hair or no hair. but I guess, that's for another blog.
I haven't written a blog entry in like 12,000 years and I'm opening up a draft to write about my hair. yep, I'm that cool, everyone.
but honestly, let's just do this once. I've told people who asked and even strangers like the barista inquired. so there, while I'm not ashamed or opposed to telling people, I know it's only a matter of time of me getting tired of saying the same thing. oops. (kind of like when you are 9 months pregnant and everyone asks "when you are going to have that baby?" and you are like "I'm not Jesus." ... ok, so it's not really like that, but you get the idea of repetition off that wee example, right?!
my story begins about 9 years ago when my dear friend shaved her head. she was (is) stunning. on a whim she got rid of her hair. I knew it would look fabulous, bc she has one of those faces that don't even need hair to compliment them. i never really thought about going bald until she did this. or at least I never really seriously considered it though I'm sure it crossed my mind as I've never loved fancy-ing my hair. I thought it was adventurous and I envied the lack of maintenance. now I don't have a face like hers, but I know I have a decent looking face and head shape so it never was out of the question.
I also knew I was going to be engaged soon, and well, vain or not, I wanted my hair long, in some form of an updo for my wedding so there went that. first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby .... and another one ... and then ...
{I wasn't going to share this part, but honestly I think it's more common than people lead on, after all, I've received plenty of emails from the school from cases of...dundundun. lice}
... then my daughter got lice. and I got it too. both, actually pretty mild cases. I thought only dirty people got lice, but turns out thanks to my dear friend google that anyone can get it, dirty or not. I mean, if only dirty people got lice, I can assure you we would NOT get it. I likely over-bathe my children as I like the routine and going to bed clean. I, myself shower and ungodly amount of times because I feel better. it's likely overkill, but I don't care.
I also got lice as a child from one of those hair wrap thingie's. you know, the kind that they take some hair and wrap it all fancy with thread and beads... somehow ... lice. so needless to say our children will never be investing in those cute little hair wraps they sell mainly at the beach or whatever. ok, but really, it made me feel better know I had it as a kid and survived haha.
I had been itching in the shower and just thought it was because I made my scalp peel off from the scalding hot showers I like to take. and see above, I likely over-bathe as well.
sorry, I probably should have put a warning on this:
<caution: may trigger psychosomatic itching>
...but it was a while and I was convinced I had lice. it just didn't make any sense. I couldn't check myself, but I went to buy stuff anyway bc my daughter started to complain of itching. I thought it was because I was talking about it and because the mosquitos adore her sweetness so she was simply itching bug bites. I went to go get the goods even before I checked her. I checked her that night and boom. found something. minuscule little bastards. like I said, pretty mild overall, but I knew it. (I actually was relieved bc I could make sense of the itching).
so we checked and treated everyone even though only 2 of us showed up with them. we barely could find any on me, but it was more like a kick in the butt to pull the trigger to try out no hair. I mean, by all means, I didn't solely shave my head because of lice hahaha. I certainly knew there were other options, but given the fact that I was already on bad terms with my hair so I kind of didn't care about getting rid of it. it wasn't until I jokingly said "I'm 99% ok with shaving my head." that I realized that I was sort of excited to do it. then I kept thinking about how freeing it will be... sure, passing thoughts of "what the f$%^ am I doing" pass by, but it also forced me to take on the mantra of "I am not my hair."
which is true.
like I said, I was already on bad terms with my hair, if you can have such terms.
to be honest, when I think about this feature I only think about it with happy thoughts when I a) got a hair cut b) did something drastic like a bold change in size or color or c) my wedding (well done, gina!).
most of the time, I'm all like it's static-y, kind of a yawn, pain to make it look good, hot/sweaty... I never grew up with hair that I could go days without washing and it would lay fabulous or look like a barbie doll. nope. and don't get me wrong here, i'm not naive to the fact that this silly little gesture is not unique to me and by no means do I take my hair for granted. I did this knowing that I am blessed it will grow back. and quickly at that. i was practically on the verge of getting a pixie in the next couple of months anyway.
it's also nice that John said he didn't think it would look bad, he actually said it would look good or something like that. while I wouldn't do it or not do it based on what he said, it was still nice to have my significant other's "blessing". so we made it a family affair. I thought Stella would enjoy cutting my hair so we headed out to the front yard and just went for it. I didn't care what she did knowing I was going to pixie it myself after that. Im lucky John was in the military and has been cutting heads since sliced bread... so we kept going shorter until we both agreed on the best length. we went through all the lengths on the way there so I get to see how "awesome" (sarcasm) I am going to look during some of the grow out phases.
it's been an interesting week to say the least. half the time I forget about it until I look in the mirror or I run into someone and they are like "omg!!" and all that jazz. overall the response has been super positive. actually way more than I thought. I mean, at least I'm assuming it's genuine hahaha or I know a lot of good actors. I find it interesting how perfect strangers want to make conversation about it if they see the transformation. the lady at the bookstore, the barista, the receptionist... it's also a little funny that people are amazed too, because after some days now it sort of is what it is. I told John that sometimes I look in the mirror and love it and sometimes I look and think oh jeez. BUT I'll have you know when I had long hair I did the exact same thing.
then there's the not so lovely comments from family "I hate it" "I don't like it" or insert blank stare. well congratulations you hate it. sheesh, it's here now, I can't change it. you DO NOT have to like it, but straight up telling someone is sort of rude and awkward, but whatever. I can't say I'm good at pretending so I guess I'll be empathetic enough. can we keep the commentary to ourselves please? really for the sake of my kid who is taking notes on what people think and say especially in regard to appearance. it's made me want to show the girls even more that what people think does not matter. it only matters if I like it and am okay with it. it's forced me to walk beside them (and alone) with pride, proving I am the same person and people won't be mean to me. and it reminds me that I am me, not my hair or anything else I try to convey. this is not what makes me intrinsically feminine. I will admit I do wear a little more make up now and when I'm tired there's nothing to distract you so I might try to cover up a bag or two.
I am aware that I have some really "cute" phases ahead of me when I grow it, but it's one of those things, you only know what you know. and if you are curious or want to try something new (hair or whatever it is) just do it. (like within reason, not against the law obviously). I'm not a master at this, but I don't like to live in question. while I will never wish lice on anyone, I'm actually happy it helped me pull the trigger, because I forgot how much I wanted to say F it and just see...
have you ever wanted to just hit reset on something? like start over? a friend asked me "so why did you do it? are you like the rest of us that are all like blah I'm sick of it?" and while it's just hair, the answer is yes, I kind of just needed to go for it.
other than that it shows i'm still the same a-hole mom that over-bathes and yells too much, hair or no hair. but I guess, that's for another blog.
and that's the name of that tune.
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Rachel Russ