TIME
This year I planted a garden. The beds were there and the girls and I put all the seeds in place in the Spring. It was exciting to see the sprouts turn to flowers. It didn't take long before some freaking animal ate the leaves and almost all of the plants - 3 of the 4 pepper plants! I voiced my disdain about this every time I passed our garden and ridiculed myself for not being a master gardener. Mind you this was my first time gardening yet apparently I didn't deserve grace.
Time passed.
I was convinced I'd be nursing my youngest into Kindergarten. (Hey and if that's your jam, fine, it isn't something that I wanted). She refused the bottle from the get go and may have taken 1/2 of one bottle her 3 years, 2 months and 18 days of the nursing career. I lamented about this. And, it was trying to me as it was my body as I'd be the one facing the hardship.
Time passed.
With a little effort and a clear plan that I stuck to we figured it out. We talked about the "end" date and it was after moving and vacation so none of the big life events would put a big shift in the game. I started giving count downs to her for a while then - starting with "you can nurse for 60 seconds... then on down 45, 30, 20, 10, 5, 1... then it was just for the sake of being official. But --- It worked. She stopped. There's nothing wrong with nursing to whenever you are comfortable, I simply was mentally and physically done.
Since Stella was two we've been participating in vision therapy. This is 5 whole years. FIVE. We have been hitting it harder since she's able to verbalize her perception more. There were (are) times of impatience, distraction and irritation with doing home exercises, but we do our best. There were moments when I'd wonder if the luring to do exercises was worth it when she couldn't see a change.
Time passed.
A few months ago she's been verbalizing she can fuse her eyes (use them together like the majority of people do innately). Only for a second, but that's over 5 years getting to that poignant second. I've never been one to say we were going to pull out of it, but dang, TIME. Time, hard work and patience have gifted us this large step in the right direction and an understanding for her motivation.
Summer. Pools. Drowning. Little kids. Hyper-vigilance.
I convinced myself that my oldest would never swim. She's sensitive and didn't like getting her face wet. We went through multiple lessons; 1v1, two student lessons, regular groups, three different pools. I knew there wouldn't be a day when I'd relax at a pool; always life guard duty. Every Summer I felt like it was a stand still. We'd have wicked melt downs over goggles not being "right."
Time passed.
The Summer of age Seven. You guys, she's a fish. She wears her goggles with ease. She doesn't complain about them (THE SAME PAIR AS LAST YEAR). She goes over, under, in, up and around. She can swim a back stroke. She's been going down water slides. She doesn't hold her nose all the time. She doesn't want to get out of the water. Ok, so she's not the next Michael Phelps and can't necessarily save her life in an ocean or a 12 foot, but she can swim! Our school teaches lessons for P.E. one whole semester and while I don't know where credit is due, this was big!
Ana, my good sleeper at an earlier age shifted into the dreadful regression at age 2 or so. She started sleeping on me. That's right. Sleeping-On-Me. In the middle of the night it was find mommy, place yourself on top of mommy or fuss and scream bloody murder. As you can imagine, this wasn't really my ideal way to sleep. Every night I would pray it would be a night she would just stay in that bed. It's really fun and easy to be patient, empathetic and kind in the middle of the night. The night's would feel like eternity and I would get "mommy injuries" from contorting my body in certain ways.
Time passed.
A old neighbor asked me recently "Does Ana still sleep on you?" and my honest answer was "Holy crap, I had forgotten!" At that time, I was out of my mind exhausted, but it's one of the tunnels where I look back and know that it's ended. We transitioned into something else over time. (I'm reminding myself of this as she is now 4 and recently went through her own phase of consistent night wakings... and I was struggling... again).
Since Ana was ridiculously small she's been scared of elevators and the feeing of being unbalanced. She'd tense up even in the stroller with a sixth sense that we were now on unstable ground. She would make me pick her up every time almost shaking. She graduated to holding me tightly or my hand. She's also has a fear of swings or similar motion. All kids love swings, right?! She would freak the hell out if put on a swing. She still chooses the carriage on a merry go round to avoid the up and down of the horses.
Time passed.
We went to Coney Island where she rode a ride with me that lifts into the air. It was mild, I assure you haha! After the second time she said "Mommy you don't have to put your arm around me anymore." We later rode the Ferris wheel - the 3 of us gals in one open compartment. I promised Stella we would and Ana kind of went in by default. She certainly was nervous, shaky and held me tight, but she made it. Stella said it was incredible, and Ana made it with no tears, but held on to me for dear life and said "this is horrible" while the ride was in session, but she did it!
Every year it seems like kids are riding bicycles earlier and earlier. First with training wheels and then without. I was regularly seeing 3, 4, and 5 year olds ride without training wheels. I self-talked into us not being a "biking family" - it probably wasn't something in the cards. Motor skills aren't our thing and depth perception... not really our thing either. We had the training wheel bike, but didn't show much interest and only came at a cost of frustration when I tried to teach her to ride it. She mastered the balance bike, but there comes a point when you outgrow it and we did.
Time passed.
She practiced riding her cousin's two-wheeler with her holding on and to my surprise did okay. Not long before that she said "Mommy I think I'm ready for training wheels." We decided to get her a bike for an early birthday present so she could learn to ride in the warmer months. The bike didn't come with training wheels, but it did come with a lot of excitement and joy! The next day we walked over to the bike trail and much to my surprise after 15-20 minutes of me holding on, I let go. And she rode. She told me when I was cheering it was the happiest memory of her life!
...
And remember my pepper plants? Yea, not to worry, they grew back: bigger, stronger and with eight other surprise pepper plants from our composted scraps. They proved that they can weather the storms and gather strength to sprout when they are ready. And when they were, they showed me that when time passes they are right where they need to be.
Time passed.
I was convinced I'd be nursing my youngest into Kindergarten. (Hey and if that's your jam, fine, it isn't something that I wanted). She refused the bottle from the get go and may have taken 1/2 of one bottle her 3 years, 2 months and 18 days of the nursing career. I lamented about this. And, it was trying to me as it was my body as I'd be the one facing the hardship.
Time passed.
With a little effort and a clear plan that I stuck to we figured it out. We talked about the "end" date and it was after moving and vacation so none of the big life events would put a big shift in the game. I started giving count downs to her for a while then - starting with "you can nurse for 60 seconds... then on down 45, 30, 20, 10, 5, 1... then it was just for the sake of being official. But --- It worked. She stopped. There's nothing wrong with nursing to whenever you are comfortable, I simply was mentally and physically done.
Since Stella was two we've been participating in vision therapy. This is 5 whole years. FIVE. We have been hitting it harder since she's able to verbalize her perception more. There were (are) times of impatience, distraction and irritation with doing home exercises, but we do our best. There were moments when I'd wonder if the luring to do exercises was worth it when she couldn't see a change.
Time passed.
A few months ago she's been verbalizing she can fuse her eyes (use them together like the majority of people do innately). Only for a second, but that's over 5 years getting to that poignant second. I've never been one to say we were going to pull out of it, but dang, TIME. Time, hard work and patience have gifted us this large step in the right direction and an understanding for her motivation.
Summer. Pools. Drowning. Little kids. Hyper-vigilance.
I convinced myself that my oldest would never swim. She's sensitive and didn't like getting her face wet. We went through multiple lessons; 1v1, two student lessons, regular groups, three different pools. I knew there wouldn't be a day when I'd relax at a pool; always life guard duty. Every Summer I felt like it was a stand still. We'd have wicked melt downs over goggles not being "right."
Time passed.
The Summer of age Seven. You guys, she's a fish. She wears her goggles with ease. She doesn't complain about them (THE SAME PAIR AS LAST YEAR). She goes over, under, in, up and around. She can swim a back stroke. She's been going down water slides. She doesn't hold her nose all the time. She doesn't want to get out of the water. Ok, so she's not the next Michael Phelps and can't necessarily save her life in an ocean or a 12 foot, but she can swim! Our school teaches lessons for P.E. one whole semester and while I don't know where credit is due, this was big!
Ana, my good sleeper at an earlier age shifted into the dreadful regression at age 2 or so. She started sleeping on me. That's right. Sleeping-On-Me. In the middle of the night it was find mommy, place yourself on top of mommy or fuss and scream bloody murder. As you can imagine, this wasn't really my ideal way to sleep. Every night I would pray it would be a night she would just stay in that bed. It's really fun and easy to be patient, empathetic and kind in the middle of the night. The night's would feel like eternity and I would get "mommy injuries" from contorting my body in certain ways.
Time passed.
A old neighbor asked me recently "Does Ana still sleep on you?" and my honest answer was "Holy crap, I had forgotten!" At that time, I was out of my mind exhausted, but it's one of the tunnels where I look back and know that it's ended. We transitioned into something else over time. (I'm reminding myself of this as she is now 4 and recently went through her own phase of consistent night wakings... and I was struggling... again).
Since Ana was ridiculously small she's been scared of elevators and the feeing of being unbalanced. She'd tense up even in the stroller with a sixth sense that we were now on unstable ground. She would make me pick her up every time almost shaking. She graduated to holding me tightly or my hand. She's also has a fear of swings or similar motion. All kids love swings, right?! She would freak the hell out if put on a swing. She still chooses the carriage on a merry go round to avoid the up and down of the horses.
Time passed.
We went to Coney Island where she rode a ride with me that lifts into the air. It was mild, I assure you haha! After the second time she said "Mommy you don't have to put your arm around me anymore." We later rode the Ferris wheel - the 3 of us gals in one open compartment. I promised Stella we would and Ana kind of went in by default. She certainly was nervous, shaky and held me tight, but she made it. Stella said it was incredible, and Ana made it with no tears, but held on to me for dear life and said "this is horrible" while the ride was in session, but she did it!
Every year it seems like kids are riding bicycles earlier and earlier. First with training wheels and then without. I was regularly seeing 3, 4, and 5 year olds ride without training wheels. I self-talked into us not being a "biking family" - it probably wasn't something in the cards. Motor skills aren't our thing and depth perception... not really our thing either. We had the training wheel bike, but didn't show much interest and only came at a cost of frustration when I tried to teach her to ride it. She mastered the balance bike, but there comes a point when you outgrow it and we did.
Time passed.
She practiced riding her cousin's two-wheeler with her holding on and to my surprise did okay. Not long before that she said "Mommy I think I'm ready for training wheels." We decided to get her a bike for an early birthday present so she could learn to ride in the warmer months. The bike didn't come with training wheels, but it did come with a lot of excitement and joy! The next day we walked over to the bike trail and much to my surprise after 15-20 minutes of me holding on, I let go. And she rode. She told me when I was cheering it was the happiest memory of her life!
...
And remember my pepper plants? Yea, not to worry, they grew back: bigger, stronger and with eight other surprise pepper plants from our composted scraps. They proved that they can weather the storms and gather strength to sprout when they are ready. And when they were, they showed me that when time passes they are right where they need to be.
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