what momma writes

yes i'm still counting in months... stella, you are a little human. there are so many big changes lately i can't even keep up. we started to train you on the potty in a really relaxed way. you started showing interest again and then went a couple of times. i gave you a "treat" afterwards until i ran out of muffins, cupcakes, ice cream etc. I had to scour the house for "bad" food and then finally went to mnm's in case this potty thing is sticking. you are slowly making progress, but progress is progress. still a little freaked out about pooping. you got a new RX for your glasses at the beginning of august and it seems to be doing great! you are such a pro at all your eye dr. visits. we started tinkering with vision therapy and going to try to integrate little things into your day, but overall you the activities are a little young. your sleeping. hmmmmm. i can't say you are consistent, but there is progress. more often then not you are sleepin...

here it is. i really don't like summer all that much and people think i'm nuts. like any season there are things i do like. for example: summer work hours. the occasional dip in a pool. really intense lightning and thunder storms. parks and iced coffees. but overall i could live my life happily in the 70s. summer to me is kind of a bust and here's why........ i don't tan. i don't even want to tan anymore. i'm passed the point in my life where i'm going to seek out a tan whether it be by a cancer bed, a spray that comes off on my clothes or trying to get the perfect sunkist look from applying only a portion of sunscreen. nope. i embrace my whiteness. there is nothing i can do about it except keep it white. if i'm going to be white or red i'm choosing white and that is that. if i'm going to have to lather up my daughter who is fairer than i than i might as well douse myself in the sunscreen as well and set the standard. if she is going ...

death and grief are just weird, but at the same time oh so natural. there are moments when it hits you out of no where. my grandma has been gone 3 months and my grandpa about 9. it's not that i selfishly want them here anymore as they lived long, good lives and are ridiculously happy now, but it's bizarre that they are physically gone. i haven't been able to sit down and write about grandma. i really haven't had the time to dedicate, but i think of her often. she and grandpa's items in our house give me peace. every day i get to see her china cabinet in our dining room. while it's not filled with her grandmotherly nick-nacks, it is very purposeful in our house and i think of her every time i see it. and as weird as it sounds, some days i'm in disbelief it's in our house. like, "wait a minute, what is this doing here? this is supposed to be in grandma's house...." grandma is the epitome of a heart of gold. there was no stopping her goi...

stopped what you ask? nursing. i nursed my daughter until she was about 28 months. no, not a typo. if i could, i would insert the following emoticons because I know that's what the majority of you are thinking. scoffing, judging, disgusted and appalled looks, and the look of disbelief.  I know the look because i've witnessed it. people don't mean to, but it's obvious.  to be fair, i had some pre-judgments of nursing in general. BEFORE i nursed. i just thought "oh you stop and then you are done." or "don't you want your body back?" the thing is your boobs aren't just done over night. and sometimes your babe isn't either. and honestly it's not inconvenient after a certain age because your supply tapers to the child so wanting your body back really can vary per mother. never in a million years did i think i would have nursed passed 12 months, then 15, then 18. then i just stopped counting because it was what it was. i didn'...

I accidentally deleted all my notes on what you were up to in the last couple months. damn icloud on the damn iphone. I love technology, but leave it to me to figure out a way to botch it up. #annoyed if you care to read how my 2.5 year old is probably very similar to other 2.5 year olds, then read on... oh my dear, here's another update. maybe you'll care someday ha?! overall, you just seem so grown up; looks, speech and activity. i know, 2.5 it's not that old, but seriously it's like developmentally something happened and you became a more independent little being.  Stella Says: "there. that's better." you say proudly after turning up the music or doing something you deem improved! "good job singing, stella!" as you run in the room to tell me you've congratulated yourself on your singing or "good painting, stella luna!" "gramma gave me that." or "dalia gave it to me." when referring to one of...

why don't we do this more often? i often wonder this when we are away and unplugged. (which isn't nearly enough). literally where we stayed in hocking hills  had no service. i didn't know that going into it and it was actually a pleasant surprise. not that we don't want to spend time and talk to each other haha, but it was as distraction free as it could be on 90% of the streets. no checking email, ig or fb to see what other people's families are up to... i got a taste of what my life was like pre-social media craze. and it was nice.  the trip lived up to my expectations (even though i know better than to make them). it was just what i needed. and really just what we needed. we are both very busy right now; we are both working almost full time along with both of us starting our own businesses so let's just say we don't have the "sit-on-the-couch-every-night-relationship" right now. throw a toddler in there and it's a day-to-day juggling ...

lesson learned. I was so worried about stella wearing her patch and keeping it on and well, she's kind of obsessed with it. the first day was rough and she tore off two in a row, but I wore one the whole time allotted and we watched Frozen together. *NOTE momma doesn't watch TV with the little person much. I hate cartoons, but I do like Frozen and my child's eyes are worth it haha. I texted my mom saying something dramatic about her taking it off and she came over with her brilliant idea. basically, my mom is awesome. she's resourceful and creative. she came up with the ultimate Patch Bag! What is the Patch Bag you ask? in short: a bag of junk. stella loooooves trinkets and knick-knacks so this was pretty much the perfect fit for her. (this could be modified to the likings of other children of course). my mom filled this bag with random shit. old key chains, bunny statue, bouncy ball, rosary, 3 magnetic marbles, and honestly I don't even remember what's i...