what momma writes

Raise your hand if you say yes on the frequent. My Lord. It can be a curse. It's not even all people pleasing. Sure, some of it is, but I like being able to do things, to help, to make things happen. It has taken a lot of work, but a vast improvement in this department. As I'm trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, I'm startled with the fact that I feel so busy even without the stamp of a "real job". There's a little shame in that game too, folks. How in the living hell am I this busy when I don't even have a paying job? What am I doing? How is it of value? I'm quite sure that there's a yes and no to this. Recently, I went on a date with my hubs and we ended up at a bookstore. I mustered over to the self help sector with him because we are awesome like that. In my hand I drooled over an astrology book and read how Scorpios are confusing. "Well, damn" I thought to myself "that explains a lot!"  I constantly ...

"Good day, mate!" said the Australian presenter at the Kauai Therapists Retreat. She quickly matter-of factly noted that yes, she's from Australia, but no one says 'good day, mate', so... don't say it. I laughed. She was unintentionally quick witted and confident. I knew of this person via my husband's "late" podcast, but never really thought I was going to meet any of the people he had spread across the US (and apparently beyond). This is the long back story to the short front story. You see, it was the second day of the retreat. We went to see a canyon in the morning and didn't have a lot of in between time for the allotted lunch time. (Although "Hawaiian time" is a real thing). I found it necessity to shower and once presentable to my standards, meandered downstairs unable to locate my husband (or the coveted food truck to which we put in our orders). No reply to calls and texts, I aimlessly wandered about the hotel lobby and s...

I'm writing this for multiple reasons. a) therapeutic b) maybe someone can relate c) keeping it real instead of social media transparency d) people commented on my last post about my yelling sentence So there. It might be a lot of territory to cover, but I'm going to lay it all out there for you. I TRY to keep my Instagram real life-ish, but it might look rosy to you. I do love sharing the rosy moments, BUT PLEASE know we have shit shows and shit storms here like most.  You see, right now I'm in a good spot. This doesn't mean that I don't bitch and whine. I still get annoyed when John leaves the dishes in the sink, just ask him. And it doesn't mean I don't get annoyed, by the girls... But, when I'm in the good spot I know have the likelihood of being less reactive and less harsh. (At least I have the awareness to try).  I've come to learn and come to terms that I go on these ups and downs. Most people do and know this, right? The thing I do...

so this is sort of weird, I'm writing about a haircut as if it's novel idea or a unique event ha.  I haven't written a blog entry in like 12,000 years and I'm opening up a draft to write about my hair. yep, I'm that cool, everyone. but honestly, let's just do this once. I've told people who asked and even strangers like the barista inquired. so there, while I'm not ashamed or opposed to telling people, I know it's only a matter of time of me getting tired of saying the same thing. oops. (kind of like when you are 9 months pregnant and everyone asks "when you are going to have that baby?" and you are like "I'm not Jesus." ... ok, so it's not really like that, but you get the idea of repetition off that wee example, right?! my story begins about 9 years ago when my dear friend shaved her head. she was (is) stunning. on a whim she got rid of her hair. I knew it would look fabulous, bc she has one of those faces that don...

I was daydreaming how much I WILL miss these days. In the dank basement, I do the laundry. Every week I do the laundry... same in and out, lots of stains and BO and I'm dreaming about missing these days. Maybe it was a defense mechanism of the moment as a large part of me detests laundry. And as I put the last dirty item in the washer I hear "Mom, I just spilled again!" Ha, I think to myself. Of course you did. Because that's pretty much what happens every other day... someone spills someone (ahem, Ana) bit someone someone whines someone (ahem, Ana) tornados through the house getting into, well, everything someone leaves half the cereal in the bowl to waste someone thinks everything is a game. all day long someone doesn't want someone to touch their stuff (and it's my duty to find solutions) someone horse plays at bedtime someone needs something. With everyone returning to school and with pictures plastered over social media, I'm reminded how ...

Stella is 4 1/2. These are what I could muster up to track the past 6-12 months... I should write the fiesty things she says too... most of these are loving and adorable to me haha! "You know what I am going to dream about? I'm going to dream about Jesus. I'm going to dream about Jesus coming back to life as a boy angel. And Great PaPaw too." "Oh, I'm sorry Daddy. I guess you'll have to share Mommy's coffee." -In a low toned sad voice after spilling all of John's coffee on the carpet. "I got in trouble today. Beff (Beth) put my on the stool by the snack table." -In regard to getting in trouble from distracting Dalia from her work. (Gotta love how honest she is!!) "I love my special time with Papaw." "AJ asks me 'why do you like me so much?!'" -We take it she likes AJ at school. "I know, I can re-trace my steps wiff you!" -In regard to losing something and me being annoyed becaus...

hi ana! happy first birthday!! of course i started 50 blogs to you and about you, but never followed through. so the last, i don't know, 6 months or so might be wrapped up here?!  it has been so fun seeing your little personality emerge even though you have shown you have quite the temper and impatience as your sister. (oh boy, another red headed temper, sweet!) but, i really do love seeing you, the ana who was chill and mostly quiet and observer ana for so long. the last 2 months or so you have transformed into a being that wants so badly to communicate even more so than you know how. here are my notes on you and your changes this year, but mostly the last 2-4 months: *you started crawling right around 9 months. it's more of an army crawl, but that's what you prefer. i rarely see you lift your big ole bottom up :)  although lately you've been lifting one leg like you are showing an interest in walking. a master puller-upper and think you are so cool when ...