what momma writes

here we are. 5 weeks after A was born and 6 weeks after i stopped working and what a ride it's been. it seems like i blinked and all the sudden i'm a SAHwM. which is pretty much how it happened. i was about 38.5 weeks pregnant and feeling work stress. i planned to take a maternity leave (which work was nice enough to grant me being i was a part time employee at a small agency), but felt this constant battle of wanting to stay home with my girls, but wondering if that is the "right" decision.  ... will i like it? ... will i go crazy? ... am i crazy? ... will i miss adult interaction? ... will we survive on 1 income? the answer, without hesitation, is that it was the right decision. as soon as i gave my notice, i felt a weight lifted. it was a feeling of 'i can have this baby now' ... almost like the universe was telling me to close that chapter, take a break (short) and prepare to be home with S + A. there were signs along the way and i'm happy i...

dear ana, happy almost 1 week! i started to question you being a boy again those last 3 weeks. your older sister kept insisting that baby brother was coming and he was in my belly. it made for an interesting last week and labor as i fully felt like even if you were going to be a girl, it'd be a surprise. i really didn't care what your parts were, i felt excited and nervous. on the night before you were born your sister knew you were coming. all afternoon and evening she kept saying to daddy and i "i need a hug" or "i want a hug mommy." she mentioned that evening that she "didn't want to see baby sister." daddy and i insisted she sensed something coming very soon. that night she wanted an extra long hug and made me hug her through canon in D on pandora (which i have to say has been a 'sign' to me all pregnancy). stella proceeded to have me sleep with Minnie, her lovey as well. between all of that and the amount of pressure on my ...

in a few short hours/days/weeks, you won't be my baby, but you'll always be my baby. i'm actually so excited to see you with a sibling and what a gift you'll be to this child! i love watching you hit milestone-esque things lately. i'm sure knowing i'll have a little newt here in no time (that pretty much is completely dependent on me) makes you seem even older, but i'm so proud of you. i've tried my best to give you lots and lots of pep talks about being a big sister, having a new baby around and of course letting you know that even when the baby comes out i still love you and we all love you even if we love another little person here too. you are nearing 3.5 and it's so fun to see you in "pre-school" and, shocker, beating to your own drum. i, at least, *think, you listen to your teacher haha! you love school though and talk about miss lenora all the time! you are making progress in your vision therapy, but ever since we got your new...

when does the homestretch in pregnancy actually start? i'm just about entering the 3rd trimey and it feels like i have so much time, but not enough bc i'm so busy. it's a small miracle that i'm actually writing this.  some notes on how i feel about this pregnancy. 1. after almost 5 months, i consistently feel better. i paid a little more attention to what i eat too and interestingly enough when i have too much processed sugars in one day without other healthy food i start to feel nausea. even though i found this out late in the game, it was nice to know one of the nausea culprits. it's funny how my body was prolly saying "F you, eat better!" i still have a hard time cutting raw meat (and then eating it depending on what it is) and WHOA... the garbage can smell. i barely can change the garbage without gagging so hard i almost puke. stella has to think i'm crazy. daddy knows he has to double bag his yogurt container after eating it and he usually ha...

age 3. it's a really tough age, but i have to admit it's so interesting because of the conversation and expression piece - it's like we were kicked into high gear and all the sudden you erupted into a more mature being! 1. EYE UPDATE: my sweet stella and her eyes... we had such a great month of her seeing 3D and using her eyes together. cross-free! we got the "no surgery" go ahead and the dr. was even impressed how quickly she progressed.  BUT, then after almost a month on the dot she regressed back to crossing so back to the patch and stronger glasses RX we went. she's still crossing with the new RX so in march we will have a surgery conversation, but in the mean time we are more drawn to vision therapy. surgery, cosmetically will fix her eyes and make them straight, but it doesn't train her to use her eyes together... meaning... she won't be seeing 3D or any better or much better. she also might have a hard time reading and judging depth which if...

you are a good little girl and i'm so proud of you! such a huge change from age 2 to 3. it's pretty amazing. i love that you are growing up and becoming more independent. and again, i don't want time to stop and you to be young forever. where'd the growth for all of us be in that? everyday you are learning, listening and helping more. *directions in the kitchen *putting things away more *helping pick out groceries *wanting to sit in a regular chair moreso than a booster. *cooperating though your cooperation has increased, so has your cognition and understanding of human ways... you are also more difficult for me. those 2 year old tantrums are nothing compared to your aggravation now if something isn't "right". sometimes i just don't know what to do or how to explain certain things and the only thing, as painful as it is is to ignore you when you get like this. then finally you come downstairs weepy eyed and want a hug and say "mommy...

not exactly how i should label a post, but sort of how i feel... while meeting with my midwife i was mentioning a few things about this pregnancy and she suggested that i keep a baby journal.  "Doh!" i thought as if it wasn't already on my radar.   you see, it's not that i haven't wanted to write to this child, it's that finding the time and energy to write things is just more tiring since it's not just work, work out, do what i want sorta schedule like it was to some degree with stella. also, sorry mister second child, but i wasn't feeling the urge to document things like i did the first time around.  i did start a letter to egg noddle sandwich, but it was kind of more of a mean note to him telling him how i'm tired of him making me feel like poop. how's that for mother of the year? already telling the poor child they are annoying me and haven't physically met yet. so because i respect my midwife and because i want to have somethi...